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Thread: Chart Depiction

  1. #1
    eric2004 Guest

    Default Chart Depiction



    Sir, please check my expression for this picture.



    These charts show the differences of annual temperature and rainfall of two cities: Sao Paulo in Brazil and Lagos in Nigeria.

    Between these two cities through a whole year, there are little differences in the change of temperature. Both of them see a gradual decrease from around 35c between February and March to the lowest point during June to July. But the temperature in Sao Paulo is only 20c in July, lower than 30c in Lagos. Since August, their temperature rates have begun to rise until spring of the next year.

    However, there is a huge difference in their rainfalls. In Sao Paulo, while March sees a rise, rainfall in the first half of the year has been on a decrease, reaching a mere 50mm in June. From then on, the figure keeps an upward trend until December. In contrast, Lagos sees an opposite trend: the lowest 50mm rainfall in January but the higher 340mm in June.

    To sum up, while Sao Paulo has similar pattern in temperature as Lagos, their rainfalls through a year are very different.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Chart Depiction

    These charts show the differences of annual temperature and rainfall of two cities: Sao Paulo in Brazil and Lagos in Nigeria.
    That's good. (You can also say: Sao Paulo, Brazil and Lagos, Nigeria.)

    Between these two cities through a whole year, there are little differences in the change of temperature. Both of them see a gradual decrease from around 35c between February and March to the lowest point during June to July. But the temperature in Sao Paulo is only 20c in July, lower than 30c in Lagos. Since August, their temperature rates have begun to rise until spring of the next year.
    The biggest problem is with the first sentence. Perhaps: "Between these two cities, the temperature differences (highs and lows throughout the year) are slight." Say: "during June and July"

    More later.

    :)

  3. #3
    eric2004 Guest

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    Sir, I think I made a lot of mistakes.

    I will improve my skills of describing such information.

    Later I will show you others, not this one.

    See you tomorrow. Good night.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Chart Depiction

    First paragraph.

    Between these two cities through a whole year, there are little differences in the change of temperature.
    • Between these two cities, throughout the year the temperature differences are, for the most part, relatively small.


    Both of them see a gradual decrease from around 35c between February and March to the lowest point during June to July.
    • Both of them see a gradual decrease from around 35c in either February or March to the lowest point during June and July.


    There is nothing between February and March, so you can't say that. :wink:

    But the temperature in Sao Paulo is only 20c in July, lower than 30c in Lagos.
    • But the low temperature for the year in Sao Paulo is 20c in July, a full ten degrees lower than the low of 30c in Lagos.


    Since August, their temperature rates have begun to rise until spring of the next year.
    • Starting in August, the temperatures in the two cities rises until the spring of the next year.


    I'm not sure I understand that. What happens in Spring? That is, isn't the annual high reached in summer?

    :)

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Chart Depiction

    Second paragraph.

    However, there is a huge difference in their rainfalls.
    • However, there is a huge difference in the amount of rainfall in the two cities.


    Rainfalls is, I think, not used.

    In Sao Paulo, while March sees a rise, rainfall in the first half of the year has been on a decrease, reaching a mere 50mm in June.
    • In Sao Paulo, while March sees a rise, rainfall in the first half of the year decreases, reaching a mere 50mm in June.


    You can't say "has been on a decrease" because that says that is what has been happening up to the present time (present perfect).

    From then on, the figure keeps an upward trend until December. In contrast, Lagos sees an opposite trend: the lowest 50mm rainfall in January but the higher 340mm in June.
    • From then on, the figure keeps an upward trend until December. In contrast, Lagos sees an opposite trend: the lowest amount ofrainfall is January (50mm) and the highest is in June (340mm).


    To sum up, while Sao Paulo has similar pattern in temperature as Lagos, their rainfalls through a year are very different.
    • To sum up, while Sao Paulo has similar pattern in temperature as Lagos, their rainfall totals throughout the year are very different.


    :)

  6. #6
    eric2004 Guest

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    Faint, Sir, I made mistakes in every sentence but the first one? 5555
    What a shame it is! I've tried my best to finish this. Pls check it.
    I found that graph writing is very hard to be described precisely, especially some Noun.






    This table shows the comparison of metro system in six cities among three aspects: Building Year, Length of Route and Carrying Capacity per year (in millions).

    London has the earliest and the longest metro system which built in 1863 and reached 1100km. however, there are only 548 people using this system per year, almost one out of three than 1434 people of Tokyo, built in 1904 with a length of 149 km2.

    On the other hand, metro in Paris with 594 km2 length, built in 1890, carries 850 people every year. This is followed by Washington D.C., where station was built in 1921, 114km2 lengths, with 70 people using it per year.

    Metro system in Kyoto and Los Angeles were built very late: in 1989 and 2001 respectively. Kyoto has the shortest lengths of route (11km2) among 6 cities, and also has the lowest capacity (11 people). Similarly, Los Angeles has a mere 14 km2 route, but its capacity is very significant, reaching 306 people per year.
    [/img]

  7. #7
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    Default

    Faint, Sir, I made mistakes in every sentence but the first one?
    It was only little things. :wink:

    Um, what does the 5555 mean? :?

    I've tried my best to finish this. Pls check it.
    I found that graph writing is very hard to be described precisely, especially some Noun.
    Try:

    • I have found that graphs are very hard to describe precisely.


    (I don't get the part about the nouns.)

    ===========================================

    This table shows the comparison of metro system in six cities among three aspects: Building Year, Length of Route and Carrying Capacity per year (in millions).
    • This table shows the comparison of the metro systems of six cities in three areas: the year construction was completed, length of route, and carrying capacity per year (in millions).


    Actually, it is not really clear whether Year means the year construction was completed or the year service started. (That could, of course, be the same year.) You did that last part better than they have it in the graph. :D

    London has the earliest and the longest metro system which built in 1863 and reached 1100km.
    You need to make that two sentences. Perhaps:

    • London has the oldest and most extensive metro system. It was built in 1863 and has an overall length of 1100km.


    What do you think? :D

    however, there are only 548 people using this system per year, almost one out of three than 1434 people of Tokyo, built in 1904 with a length of 149 km2.
    That's a little confusing. Do you mean 548 million? In that case, I wouldn't say only there. Perhaps:

    • About 548 million people use the London metro system each year. That's about a third as many as use the Tokyo metro system every year (1434 million people). The Tokyo system was built in 1904 and has an overall length of 149km.


    On the other hand, metro in Paris with 594 km2 length, built in 1890, carries 850 people every year. This is followed by Washington D.C., where station was built in 1921, 114km2 lengths, with 70 people using it per year.
    • The system in Paris, 594km in overall length and built in 1890. carries 850 million people every year. The Washington, D.C. system, built in 1921 and with an overall length of 114km, is used by 70 million people a year.


    Metro system in Kyoto and Los Angeles were built very late: in 1989 and 2001 respectively. Kyoto has the shortest lengths of route (11km2) among 6 cities, and also has the lowest capacity (11 people). Similarly, Los Angeles has a mere 14 km2 route, but its capacity is very significant, reaching 306 people per year.
    The systems in Kyoto and Los Angeles were built relatively recently: in 1989 and 2001 respectively. Kyoto's system has the shortest overall length of the six cities (11km), and it also has the lowest yearly capacity (11 million people).

    You could also say annual instead of yearly.

    :)

  8. #8
    eric2004 Guest

    Default

    Thanks, Sir.

    555 is meant "cry" because they have the same pro in Chinese in common . This is the popular expression now in China. Hehe (Chinese smile), all those are onlince languages.

    Faint (Chinese" shoot") etc.

    I'm good not at the description of comparing data.

    So what you've done is really helpful for me.

    This post is over now . And pls help me correct that post with several sentences. Now I've focus on picking on my wrong sentencs, so then I can practice overall writing.

    Thanks again.

  9. #9
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    Default

    And pls help me correct that post with several sentences.
    That would be any number of them. Which one do you mean? :?

    Thanks for the explanations. That was interesting and useful. :D

    Later.

    :)

  10. #10
    eric2004 Guest

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    Xixi, it's over here. After my exam, we can communicate with each other with a ease mood then.

    Thanks again. You're splendid, Sir.

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