In conclusion, I think that we have to improve educational environment and help students have a dream because great education program and having a dream makes students to focus on their study better. Consequently, increasing teachers’ salary is not better method for improvements in efficiency.
Last edited by haha27; 30-Oct-2012 at 15:28.
There are several issues with the piece, mainly with articles and singular/plural use. I have made various amendments to the whole piece in red above.
Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.