[Essay] My Flying Adventure

[Ashiuhto]

The following paragraph is fictitous. Please help me correct the errors or the illogical phrases. Thanks!

After a long night flying last night, I unknowingly fell asleep. When I woke up in the next morning, I found that the surroundings had been changed. I was placed in a big city which stood in great number of soaring buildings. Suddenly two sparrows flew pass by, and they warned me, “Watch out for the cars and the crowds, or they might expose you to mortal danger.” No sooner had they told me that than a gale blew me into a big road. As they said, there were tons of people and cars streaming on the road. Unfortunately, while I was walking along the roadside, a galloping car hit me. I performed my magic power to evade the fatal crisis. Flying along the winds, I hid myself in the hood of the car. Soon after, I escaped from the hood and got into the shutgun of the car. A little girl could not help but burst out sneezing when I pass by her. So, I flew out of the car and restarted my flying adventure.

 

[Grumpy]

After a long night's flying last night, I unknowingly fell asleep. When I woke up [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] the next morning, I found that [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] my surroundings had [STRIKE]been[/STRIKE] changed. I was [STRIKE]placed[/STRIKE] in a big city [STRIKE]which stood in great number[/STRIKE] with many soaring buildings. Suddenly two sparrows flew [STRIKE]pass[/STRIKE] by, and they warned me, “Watch out for the cars and the crowds, or they might [or "may"] expose you to mortal danger.” No sooner had they told me that, than a gale blew me into a big road. As [STRIKE]they[/STRIKE] the sparrows had said, there were [STRIKE]tons[/STRIKE] lots of people and cars streaming [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] along the road. Unfortunately, while I was walking along the roadside, a [STRIKE]galloping[/STRIKE] speeding car hit me. I [STRIKE]performed[/STRIKE] used my magic power to evade the [STRIKE]fatal[/STRIKE] deadly crisis. Flying along on the winds, I hid myself in the hood of [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] a car. Soon after, I escaped from the hood and got into the shutgun [I don't know what this word is supposed to mean] of the car. A little girl could not help but burst out sneezing when I passed by her. So I flew out of the car and re-started my flying adventure.​