I have made corrections in red to your piece. There are a few main problems:
- Remember that you must capitalise the word "I" (first person singular).
- Put the full stop at the very end of a sentence, even if that is after brackets.
- Do not put a space before a comma, but put a space after a comma.
- Do not put a space before a full stop, question mark or exclamation mark, but put a space after them.
- Put a space before an opening bracket "(" but no space after it.
- Do not put a space before a closing bracket ")" but put a space after it.