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    #1

    Does it sound okay for natives?

    Hi,
    The sentences below are what I used for the front page of my brand webpage which will be launched next year. It's a kind of parking page. I'm wondering if it is perfectly formal for english natives.


    Thank you for visiting ******.com. Our webpage wiill be relreased in a few months. For inquiries about brand or product, please email us at **@******.com.


    The brand is quite high-end, so I want them to be gentle and professional manner.
    I appreciate if one of teachers help me.
    Thanks in advance.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Does it sound okay for natives?

    Quote Originally Posted by nomajinty View Post
    Hi,
    The sentences below are what I used for the front page of my brand's webpage website which will be launched next year. It's a kind of parking page. I'm wondering if it is perfectly formal for English natives.


    Thank you for visiting ******.com. Our webpage website wiill will be relreased released (or launched) in a few months. For inquiries about our brand or product, please email us at **@******.com.


    The brand is quite high-end, so I want them (who does "them" refer to?) to be gentle and professional manner.
    I would appreciate it if one of the teachers could help me.
    Thanks in advance.
    Please see my amendments both to the wording of your parking page and to your post. What you will be launching next year is a website (not a webpage) and so far you have built one page.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

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    #3

    Re: Does it sound okay for natives?

    sorry, could you tell me why it is not necessary to change

    to be gentle and professional manner.

    into

    to be in a gentle and professional manner.

    ?

  2. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Does it sound okay for natives?

    Do you expect most visitors to actually have questions about your brand? I should think they would care about your products and/or services. They aren't going to care about your brand. Perhaps your company as whole?
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #5

    Re: Does it sound okay for natives?

    I thought people would be curious about our brand rather than service because it is new brand which people aren't familiar with. Furthermore, it is a fashion related brand. Thank you so much for all of your advice.


    Quote Originally Posted by Barb_D View Post
    Do you expect most visitors to actually have questions about your brand? I should think they would care about your products and/or services. They aren't going to care about your brand. Perhaps your company as whole?

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    #6

    Re: Does it sound okay for natives?

    'them' refers to 'the sentences.' Sorry for confusion. thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Please see my amendments both to the wording of your parking page and to your post. What you will be launching next year is a website (not a webpage) and so far you have built one page.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Does it sound okay for natives?

    I can understand you wanting the contents of your webpage to be professional, but gentle isn't really something associated with written English.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

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