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  1. #1
    HanibalII is offline Member
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    Attempting to infer a sense of nakedness and exposure

    Hi all.

    In this piece of writing, I'm trying to in infer a strong sense of nakedness/exposure, given by the darkness.

    The feeling that you get when it's so dark you feel lost.


    The presence of the darkness pressing in, giving me a strong sense of self-awareness and naked exposure.
    Does this sentence give a good representation?


    Cheers
    I'm not a teacher yet, but I am studying a Bachelor of Education with an English Literature major at Charles Sturt University, in NSW, Australia.

  2. #2
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    Raymott is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Attempting to infer a sense of nakedness and exposure

    Quote Originally Posted by HanibalII View Post
    Hi all.

    In this piece of writing, I'm trying to in infer a strong sense of nakedness/exposure, given by the darkness.

    The feeling that you get when it's so dark you feel lost.




    Does this sentence give a good representation?


    Cheers
    I would have assumed that the darker it was, the less naked, exposed and self-aware you'd feel. If you want it to evoke a feeling of being lost, why not use words that mean that?

  3. #3
    HanibalII is offline Member
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    Re: Attempting to infer a sense of nakedness and exposure

    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    I would have assumed that the darker it was, the less naked, exposed and self-aware you'd feel. If you want it to evoke a feeling of being lost, why not use words that mean that?

    The feeling I'm trying to get is like he's in an abyss. It's pitch black. He can't see anything, but he feels that others can still see him.
    I'm not a teacher yet, but I am studying a Bachelor of Education with an English Literature major at Charles Sturt University, in NSW, Australia.

  4. #4
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: Attempting to infer a sense of nakedness and exposure

    Self-awareness doesn't work for me- it's a positive thing, if I felt naked, I would be self-conscious.

  5. #5
    JMurray is offline Key Member
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    Re: Attempting to infer a sense of nakedness and exposure

    I'm trying to in infer a strong sense of nakedness/exposure, given by the darkness.
    It's pitch black. He can't see anything, but he feels that others can still see him.


    He appears to feel anxious, insecure, aware of his own vulnerability.

    not a teacher

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