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    #1

    has also attracted

    Would anyone be kind enough to check the following paragraph for me? Thanks!

    McDonald's stationed in Taiwan since January 28, 1984,Taiwan's first McDonald's was set up on Minsheng East Road, then it has changed the food culture in Taiwan. It has also attracted the attention of public concern and academia. There are a lot of dissertations about McDonald's as a research object, roughly divided into three orientations:economic strategy, customers, and development of time and space.

  1. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: has also attracted

    Quote Originally Posted by Ashiuhto View Post
    Would anyone be kind enough to check the following paragraph for me? Thanks!

    McDonald's stationed in Taiwan since January 28, 1984,Taiwan's first McDonald's was set up on Minsheng East Road, then it has changed the food culture in Taiwan. It has also attracted the attention of public concern and academia. There are a lot of dissertations about McDonald's as a research object, roughly divided into three orientations:economic strategy, customers, and development of time and space.
    I've identified the areas that need changing. I don't konw what you mean about "the development of time and space."
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #3

    Re: has also attracted

    A teacher has corrected the paragraph as written.

    McDonald's has been in Taiwan since January 28, 1984, when the first branch was set up on Minsheng East Road. It has changed the food culture in Taiwan. It has also attracted public concern and the attention of academia. There are a lot of research dissertations about McDonald's, focusing on the three main aspects of economic strategy, customers, and development of time and space.

    However, he also has no idea what 'development of time and space' means.

  2. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: has also attracted

    It's your essay. What did you mean by "time and space"?

    I didn't noctice the comma after 1984, so I'm glad the teacher caught that.

    You say it has "attracted public concern" (a phrase I don't find natural) but you don't say what the public is concerned about.

    People have actually written their doctoral dissertations on McDonald's customers?
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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