[Grammar] fairness sentences

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ladyTL

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What comes up in your mind when you hear ”fairness”? The racism during the second world and how cruel the human treated the jew people? Or why your mother gets a lower salary than your teacher even though she works as hard as him? Or maybe if it is right or wrong to use animals in research? Fairness is nothing but a simple concept that defines all human’s view of a perfect world, a world that is not possibly true.
 

Grumpy

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What is your question?
 

emsr2d2

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If it sounds alright [STRIKE]:)[/STRIKE] and if you, as a reader, get my point.


I understand your point. What is this piece for? Is it an assignment?
 

ladyTL

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I understand your point. What is this piece for? Is it an assignment?

It's for an essay, but I'm not done with it yet. So I just choose a piece from it (its actually the opening).
 

ladyTL

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Does it sound as a good opening or it sounds weird?
 

emsr2d2

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If it's for an essay which you are going to submit for marking, then we are unable to help at this stage. Your teacher/tutor needs to see your work, not our work. After you have submitted it and have received it back, do come back to us with any errors or amendments which you don't understand.
 

ladyTL

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It is. He has corrected it, but he doesn't use to mark. Instead he just mark a part/sentence and then say "think about it one more time"
Therefor I have to rewrite my opening.
 

emsr2d2

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It is. He has corrected it, but he doesn't [STRIKE]use to mark[/STRIKE] correct errors. Instead he just marks a part/sentence and then says "Think about it one more time".
Therefore I have to rewrite my opening.

OK, but do you have to rewrite it and then submit it again?
 

ladyTL

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I don't really get his point. But it seems like we are going to submit it again or more like let him see if we have understand the wrongs. But the grade of the essay won't be change, that's for certain.
 

emsr2d2

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I don't really get his point. But it seems like we are going to submit it again or more like let him see if we have understand the wrongs. But the grade of the essay won't be change, that's for certain.

Which parts of your opening paragraph did he say he wanted you to look at again?
 

TheParser

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***** NOT A TEACHER *****


Hello,


Since you say that you have already submitted your assignment and you have already received an unchangeable mark,

I think that I am permitted to comment on it.

I think that you did a great job. May I, however, suggest a few changes?

What comes to mind when you hear the word "fairness"? The racism during World War II and the cruelty shown to the Jewish people? Or why your mother gets a lower salary than your teacher, even though she works as hard as him? [For perfect English, it should be "as hard as he." I do not know how strict a grammarian your teacher is.] Or whether animal research is right? Fairness is nothing but a concept that arises from humans viewing the world as a perfect place, which it can never be.



James


NOTE: A few people still believe that "She works as hard as he" is the English mandated by the rules. Most people today do not follow this rule.
 
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5jj

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For perfect English, it should be "as hard as he." I do not know how strict a grammarian your teacher is.
As we have said countless times in this forum, the subject-form he is considered unnatural by some in such constructions as this unless followed by a verb ('does' in this case). 'Him' is acceptable to most native speakers. It is simply not true that 'as hard as he' is perfect English.
 

emsr2d2

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Before I had realised this might be an assignment, I had typed a corrected paragraph. As long as your mark is unchangeable, then I am happy to show what I wrote. However, I hope you will not submit this to your teacher as your version after you'd thought about it.

What comes [STRIKE]up in[/STRIKE] to your mind when you hear ”fairness”? The racism during the Second World War and how cruelly[STRIKE]the human[/STRIKE] some people treated the Jewish people? Or why your mother gets a lower salary than your male teacher even though she works as hard as him? Or maybe if it is right or wrong to use animals in research? Fairness is nothing but a simple concept that defines all humans' view of a perfect world, a world that is not possible[STRIKE]y true[/STRIKE].
 

Barb_D

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One thing I just can't let stand (and you can work with your teacher to correct the other issues) is the phrase "jew people."
You can say "Jews" or you can say "Jewish people" but you cannot use "jew" (especially with a lower case j) people. It's offensive to use "Jew" as an ejective.
 

TheParser

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It is simply not true that 'as hard as he' is perfect English.

***** NOT A TEACHER *****


I have added a note of clarification to my original post.

We non-teachers are currently allowed to state our views so long as those views are not total

rubbish (as another moderator recently labeled one of my opinions).

I have no doubt whatsoever that a few writers (mostly non-fiction) would not be caught dead

writing "I am taller than him" or "It is me." The rules are the rules, even though native speakers are

changing them by their actual speech. But there still a few people (including foreign teachers of

English) who are resolved to follow those rules.

I am grateful that we non-teachers are allowed to air our views. Of course, students should accept a

teacher's word over a non-teacher's. As they become more fluent, they will discover for themselves what

"perfect" English is.
 

5jj

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The rules are the rules, even though native speakers are changing them by their actual speech.
Remember that rules in English are like scientific laws. They are not things that must be obeyed, but observations of what generally (in language) and always (with scientific laws) happens.
Of course, students should accept a teacher's word over a non-teacher's.
I disagree. There are many non-teachers (and many non-native speakers of English) who have a deep understanding of the workings of the English language. We have several who offer valuable advice in this forum. There are also, unfortunately some teachers, including some native speakers, who know less than they ideally should.
 

ladyTL

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Oh, thank you guys very much for helping me this much. But my question are the wrongs more grammatic wrongs or "construction-wrongs" or what?
 
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