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    #1

    Is this flowery english or bad english

    Dear forum friends I would like to ask for some of your time to at least evaluate the writing below. Please tell whether this is a bad writing or a flowery one. Thank You.

    "The government, of any kind, cannot support any tolerance of faith, if that republic employs those men favoring one. Their views, therefore, would be inevitable to conform to their faith, which will indirectly show its hostility towards religious system. Therefore this religious tolerance would only be a title with no definitive substance."

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    #2

    Re: Is this flowery english or bad english

    There are an awful lot of commas. And extra phrases like "of any kind" when the sentence is clearly talking about a "republic."

    It is not impossible for religious men to favor tolerance.

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    #3

    Re: Is this flowery english or bad english

    Thanks for that Dave! But I was asking for your evaluations to the structure not the content. So once again is it at least readable? (please except the comma issues in answering the question.) Thank you!

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    #4

    Re: Is this flowery english or bad english

    Quote Originally Posted by RA-13 View Post
    Thanks for that Dave! But I was asking for your evaluations to the structure not the content. So once again is it at least readable? (please except the comma issues in answering the question.) Thank you!
    Whether one thing is bad depends on the comparison you make.

    If you read more 17th or 18th century essays, you will find even lengthier sentences and more difficult words.

  1. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Is this flowery english or bad english

    Quote Originally Posted by RA-13 View Post
    Thanks for that Dave! But I was asking for your evaluations to the structure not the content. So once again is it at least readable? (please except the comma issues in answering the question.) Thank you!
    I find it almost unreadable. Where did you find it?

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    #6

    Re: Is this flowery english or bad english

    That's a good observation about writing from the last two centuries. There are extremely long, albeit grammatical sentences, that are very difficult to make your way through.

    There are way too many commas, but the language is not "flowery."

    Flowery is more like "Kind and good sir, if you in your benevolence would see fit to help your poor and lowly friend in this most simple but most gratifyinig way, I would be humbled. It would be a favor beyond estimation, bringing joy and elation forever, a never-ceasing flow of gratitude. If ever you desired to inspire another with the unending goodness that forms your true and blessed heart, then please, sir, kindly do the needful."

    I could give you links to specific passages that have actually appeared here. And sadly, my example isn't that far off.

    So is this passage flowery? No. But it's not good modern writing either.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #7

    Re: Is this flowery english or bad english

    Quote Originally Posted by RA-13 View Post
    Dear forum friends I would like to ask for some of your time to at least evaluate the writing below. Please tell whether this is a bad writing or a flowery one. Thank You.

    "The government, of any kind, cannot support any tolerance of faith, if that republic employs those men favoring one. Their views, therefore, would be inevitable to conform to their faith, which will indirectly show its hostility towards religious system. Therefore this religious tolerance would only be a title with no definitive substance."
    "The Government, of any kind, cannot support any tolerance of faith, if that the respective republic employs those men favoring one such tolerance. Their views, therefore, would be inevitable to conform to their faith biased, which will would indirectly show its hostility prejudice towards any religious system. Therefore, this "religious tolerance" would only be a title with no definitive substance. evidence to support it.[/QUOTE]

    Readable? Difficult. Flowery? Wordy. Bad English? Poor choice of words/terms.


  3. Grumpy's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Is this flowery english or bad english

    Quote Originally Posted by Barb_D View Post
    That's a good observation about writing from the last two centuries. There are extremely long, albeit grammatical sentences, that are very difficult to make your way through.

    There are way too many commas, but the language is not "flowery."

    Flowery is more like "Kind and good sir, if you in your benevolence would see fit to help your poor and lowly friend in this most simple but most gratifyinig way, I would be humbled. It would be a favor beyond estimation, bringing joy and elation forever, a never-ceasing flow of gratitude. If ever you desired to inspire another with the unending goodness that forms your true and blessed heart, then please, sir, kindly do the needful."

    I could give you links to specific passages that have actually appeared here. And sadly, my example isn't that far off.

    So is this passage flowery? No. But it's not good modern writing either.

    I'll try that line next time I'm trying to evade a parking ticket....
    I'm not a teacher of English, but I have spoken it for (almost) all of my life....

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    #9

    Re: Is this flowery english or bad english

    So is this passage flowery? No. But it's not good modern writing either.

    What exactly do you mean?

  4. 5jj's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: Is this flowery english or bad english

    Quote Originally Posted by RA-13 View Post
    So is this passage flowery? No. But it's not good modern writing either.

    What exactly do you mean?
    Exactly what the words say, I imagine.

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