Corrrection of paragraph

Status
Not open for further replies.

ladyTL

Junior Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Swedish
Home Country
Sweden
Current Location
Sweden
OH thanks! :D
Can you do me a favor, is this paragraph correct?

One of the differences between Sweden and USA is that in Sweden death penalty is abrogated. The Government deems that culprits need a second chance. Of course, if the culprit only broke the law once he shall get a chance to change; everyone makes mistakes. What about serial killers? Should we give them a second chance?
One year ago in Norway, a man called Anders Breivik went to an Island where many teenagers were. Suddenly he started shooting everyone he saw. When he finally became captured, he had killed 69 persons. Due to his actions, Anders was sentenced to prison with a term of 21 years, with a possibility of extension. If he is released after 21 years, how is that fair to all his victims or also family of the victims? We said culprits should get a second chance if he/she only broke the law once, but Anders committed 69 faults. The question is, is there still hope that he will change to a better person?
 
Last edited:

5jj

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Oct 14, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
Czech Republic
Current Location
Czech Republic
I have moved this question to a new thread, ladyTL. Please don't post different questions in one thread. Thank you.
 

ladyTL

Junior Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Swedish
Home Country
Sweden
Current Location
Sweden
Oh. Thank you! :) It is fine.
 

ladyTL

Junior Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Swedish
Home Country
Sweden
Current Location
Sweden
PLEASE help!
 

Gillnetter

Key Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
OH thanks! :D
Can you do me a favor, is this paragraph and USA is that in Sweden death penalty [STRIKE]is [/STRIKE] has been abrogated. The government deems that culprits need a second chance. Of course, if the culprit only broke the law once he shall get a chance to change; everyone makes mistakes. What about serial killers? Should we give them a second chance?
One year ago in Norway, a man called Anders Breivik went to an island where many teenagers were. Suddenly he started shooting everyone he saw. When he was finally [STRIKE]became [/STRIKE]captured, he had killed 69 [STRIKE]persons[/STRIKE] people. Due to his actions, Anders was sentenced to prison with a term of 21 years, with a possibility of extension. If he is released after 21 years, how is that fair to all his victims or [STRIKE]also[/STRIKE] the family of the victims? We said culprits should get a second chance if he/she only broke the law once, but Anders committed 69 faults. The question is, is there still hope that he will change to a better person?
A serial killer is someone who kills more than one person over a period of time. Killing a number of people at one time does not make someone a serial killer, he is just a killer.
Gil
 

Aur0r

New member
Joined
Nov 16, 2012
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Indonesian
Home Country
Indonesia
Current Location
Indonesia

Nice correction gil. I was amazed, i think i should learn more. I just founded a small problem with the paragraph, not as much as yours. Great job.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top