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  1. #1
    Asahin is offline Newbie
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    Unhappy Childhood in Picture books

    Hello! I'm an university student in Minnesota! I am writing an essay to submit to the school that I am applying to transfer. I have been studying in the United States for 1 year and half but I still have lot of problem on writing ...Could you please correct this for me? (the essay must be less 750 words.) Please!!


    I want to make someone’s favorite picture book


    I am 20 years old, but still I look around for picture books section when I enter into a bookstore. I know it may sound weird when you hear that a twenty year old would still like to read books meant for young children. However I like them because I re-live my childhood through them. I still remember the texture and the feeling that I had when I was reading them. I still have the memory for each and every book I used to have and it is so much fun to re-live in those moments. So I sometimes go through the bookshelf in my house and pick some of my picture books up from there.
    There was a book Sunshine, kind of a magazine for kindergarten kids that has lots of short stories and pictures. I remember that my mom came from her work with that book when I was little. That day, I was sick and staying in bed. I had to stay at home by myself since my mom had to go to work. I remember that I was so happy when my mom came home with jelly and that picture book. I was so into the short stories in that book and enjoyed them even I had a high fever. Also, there was a book Guri and Gura, whose story is about the adventure of mice brothers. In the story, they go to the little house in the forest, and they make a pan cake with their friends in the forest. That huge yellow pan cake was always seemed very yummy to me. I still wonder what kind of taste pan cake does. I did not smell the pan cake, but I remember the smell of it in somehow. Also, there was a book; my father is Ultra-man, whose story is about a Japanese famous hero character Ultra-man and his imaginary son. In that book, Ultra-man is a great hero and a dad at the same time. He comes home and plays with his son even he is so tired after fighting with bad monsters. My brother liked Ultra-man so my mom bought it for him. It was his favorite book even he does not have his father.
    I remember more books. When I read them again or recall them, I remember not only the story but I remember what I thought, what kind of mood I was in, what kind of day that day that I read the book was. However, I do not remember them until I read those books again or recall them. Picture books can take me to trip to my childhood. It is nostalgic. Usually it is sad, but it is happy sometimes. When I read them again, I feel different. I never feel it in the same way when I was little. However, I remember how I felt back in days. I think this is wonderful. Picture books are wonderful.
    I would like write picture books that will stay in some corner of someone’s mind and will take him to a trip to his childhood when he read it again sometime. I liked to draw and drawing is my great skill since I was little. I was a quiet girl who was drawing in her notebook while my classmates were playing outside. I was not good at any sport. I was so shy in front of people. I knew I was a plain girl. However, I felt special and proud of myself when people looked at my drawing and amazed. So I drew a lot and saw a lot of drawing of others. As I grow up, I started to want to be an artist. I have got so many things that I want to tell people in the world, especially people who is like me. And I want to talk to them through picture books. I want to talk to them when they are little, and I want them to remember it when they are grown up because I think my messages would reach them easily just it was for me. Reason why I want to learn more in (name of school) is because I want to get more skill to make my picture books more strong so that I can talk to readers through it. Also, I want to see, hear and feel more things because I would find more things I will get to tell readers. (Name of school) can give me not only degree but more inspiration and motivation do make my dream comes true.
    Last edited by Asahin; 17-Nov-2012 at 19:06. Reason: font and size

  2. #2
    5jj's Avatar
    5jj is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Childhood in Picture books

    Welcome to the forum, Asahin.

    We like to help when we can. However, if this letter is part of your application, it would not be right for us to help. The school you are applying to wants to see what you can do, not what we can do.
    Last edited by 5jj; 18-Nov-2012 at 08:51. Reason: typo

  3. #3
    Asahin is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Childhood in Picture books

    Thanks for your reply. And yes, you are right. I just want some correction and feedback. I don't think it would be cheating, would it?

  4. #4
    5jj's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood in Picture books

    I think that the new university would consider it inappropriate.

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