[Essay] Advantages & Disadvantages of doing homework

[kevintrang]

Hi everyone,
I'm Kevin who really need your helps are new one in writing English. I'm wondering Could you spend your precious times to correct my writing? I know it will take your time a lot. I'm very happy to get helping from you. Thank you guys very much.

In 21st century, when social life has changed a lot, we have to try to study to catch up this modern life. Therefore, doing homework which the teachers always give a lot to us. Many different controversies about it. In my opinion, i think there are both advantages and disadvantages to do homework.

The main advantage of doing homework is that doing homework help us to remember knowledge which our teachers taught in the class. In addition, our teachers may know what we learnt and understood through it. From which they may change the way their teaching to make us get easier to understand their lessons. Moreover, doing many homework may provides some necessary knowledges to help us get easy to find a good job in the future.

Besides them, there are several disadvantages of it. Especially stressful which is the one of diseases is very dangerous to our life. Stuffing many knowledges into our brain through doing many homework its may not only useless to us, but also makes us get stress very easy. Moreover, it may have bad affect to our health such as wearing glasses of students even little kids.

To sum up, doing homework is very important to review our knowledge but we must not abuse it to force our children to do all day. Nothing is perfect. Therefore, we have to combine between doing homework and relaxing through outside activities or something like this.

 

[VivienneM]

In the 21st century, with social life changing, we have to make an effort to catch up with our studies. By this I mean we need to do homework, which the teachers always pile on us. There are many different opinions about the benefits of homework. In my opinion, there are both advantages and disadvantages.
[I'm not sure what you mean by "study to catch up this modern life" so I've put something which is correct but might not be what you have in mind.
There is no verb in sentence three. Every sentence must contain a verb.
You can say something is controversial, or you can say there different opinions about it, but you can't say there are different controversies.]

The main advantage of doing homework is that it helps us to remember the information taught to us in the class. In addition, by seeing our written work, our teachers find out what we learnt and understood. From this, they might change their method of teaching to make it easier to understand their lessons. Moreover, doing a lot of homework may provide some necessary knowledge to make it easier for us to find a good job in the future.
[There was quite a bit of repetition in this so I've just tidied it up a bit]

On the other hand, there are several disadvantages to homework. It can cause especial stress, which is harmful in our lives. Having to stuff many facts into our brains through excessive homework may not only useless to us, but may also get us stressed very easily. Moreover, it may have bad effect on our health [such as wearing glasses of students, even little kids.]
[If a sentence starts "Besides that," it means that what follows agrees with what we have just put. But here, you are writing the opposite, the disadvantages, so "On the other hand" is better.
"Knowledge" is always singular. I suggest "facts".
I would avoid the part about wearing glasses, if you are saying that reading leads to having to bad eyesight -- it doesn't. At worst, it might cause headaches. Perhaps instead: "It may have a bad effect on our health, such as headaches caused by having to work too late into the night."
It is "effect" when a noun -- as here -- and "affect" when a verb. e.g. "It had a bad effect on my health", but "My health was badly affected by it."]

To sum up, doing homework is very important to review our knowledge but we must not overuse it and force our children to do it all day. [?Nothing is perfect.] Therefore, we have to find the right balance between doing homework and relaxing through outside activities and such-like.
[I'm not sure what you mean by "Nothing is perfect" here.]

 

[kevintrang]

Thank you very much for correcting my essay.

I'm not sure what you mean by "study to catch up this modern life" so I've put something which is correct but might not be what you have in mind.

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There is no verb in sentence three. Every sentence must contain a verb.
You can say something is controversial, or you can say there different opinions about it, but you can't say there are different controversies.​

[such as wearing glasses of students, even little kids.]
​

[If a sentence starts "Besides that," it means that what follows agrees with what we have just put. But here, you are writing the opposite, the disadvantages, so "On the other hand" is better.
"Knowledge" is always singular. I suggest "facts".
I would avoid the part about wearing glasses, if you are saying that reading leads to having to bad eyesight -- it doesn't. At worst, it might cause headaches. Perhaps instead: "It may have a bad effect on our health, such as headaches caused by having to work too late into the night."
It is "effect" when a noun -- as here -- and "affect" when a verb. e.g. "It had a bad effect on my health", but "My health was badly affected by it."​

Your corrects are very useful to me. I'm very bad at English but i will try to do my best. Could you tell me how to learn English well? You know? when do I want to talk or write in English, I have to think of those things at first & then translate them to English.

One more time, thank you very much.

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