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    #1

    Why do you think people attend college or university? TOEFL

    Essay of the day.
    Wrote it for 30 mins.
    Please tell me the corrections that i need to do.

    People attend college or university for many different reasons (for
    example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge).
    Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific
    reasons and examples to support your answer.


    First of all, education is vital in our life because if there is no education, then we will have very little knowledge of everything in our life. After high school, people will like to go to college or to the university to increase their knowledge. So that they can experience a new life and to feel how different is from high school. People will like to be prepare for all the obstacles that they will be experience in their jobs and how hard will it be to pass their obstacles. They will like to be prepare for everything they will experience. There will be good times as well as hard times to everyone. In real life, people will be ready for all those times because they will have known what to do next as long as they finish their career.


    As a matter of fact, people should attend to the university or college not only to increase their knowledge of their studies, but also to know how the real world is. People are going to the university to learn something new and to expand their knowledge of something that they already known. For example, after finishing the high school, all the students might already knew a little bit of everything and the base of what the university will require you to know. In other words, all those students might know the basic topics of each subjects that the university will have. And thanks to the high school teachers, students will not be lost during the first week of the university. In an university or in a college, they will be going to expand what they already know and will discover a little bit more about every subjects. Therefore, I consider that going to the next level of study: the university, will lead to a better understanding of the world and will be ready to assume any responsability in your life.


    Also, there is another reason why people should go to the university. As you all know, we do not know what will happen next after ten years, or in what circumstances we are. But because of that reason, we might not know who and what kind of person we all will become. So, it is better to study a carrer that you like and be prepare for anything that migh happen after your first degree (Bachelor Degree). No ones know what will happen the next year, no one will tell us what to do if something bad happens, so I suggest that people should go to the university to learn new things and to increase their knowledge. While going to the universitym, people will learn new things and will hear the experiences of what older people had passed through theirbetter and worse time in their life. After listening to all the poeple who had been through all different kind of situations, then students will have a very different perspective than before. They will try to do the things right, and will try to do the things that other people have not done. In other words, after listening to all the experiences of the professors, they will encourage themselves to do the things that they will be very glad to in order to succes their goals.




    Overall, it is a necessity for all of us to learn and experience new things. We should all go to the university in order to gain more knowledge. Perhaps it will be difficult to study all the subjects for almost four years for a degree, but it will be worth it for the future so that you will be prepare for every circumstances you wil experienced. Students will learn from the errors of what the professors had been through and will try not to do the same as they did. Therefore, if you have a dream, you need to find a way to make it come true and for that, first, you need to increase your knowledge and the right place for that is by going to the university.

  1. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Why do you think people attend college or university? TOEFL

    Quote Originally Posted by Lillian Zhong View Post
    Essay of the day.
    Wrote it for 30 mins.
    Please tell me the corrections that i need to do.

    People attend college or university for many different reasons (for
    example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge).
    Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific
    reasons and examples to support your answer.


    First of all, education is vital in our life because if there is no education, then we will have very little knowledge of everything in our life. After high school, people will like to go to college or to the university to increase their knowledge. So that they can experience a new life and to feel how different is from high school. People will like to be prepare for all the obstacles that they will be experience in their jobs and how hard will it be to pass their obstacles. They will like to be prepare for everything they will experience. There will be good times as well as hard times to everyone. In real life, people will be ready for all those times because they will have known what to do next as long as they finish their career.


    As a matter of fact, people should attend to the university or college not only to increase their knowledge of their studies, but also to know how the real world is. People are going to the university to learn something new and to expand their knowledge of something that they already known. For example, after finishing the high school, all the students might already knew a little bit of everything and the base of what the university will require you to know. In other words, all those students might know the basic topics of each subjects that the university will have. And thanks to the high school teachers, students will not be lost during the first week of the university. In an university or in a college, they will be going to expand what they already know and will discover a little bit more about every subjects. Therefore, I consider that going to the next level of study: the university, will lead to a better understanding of the world and will be ready to assume any responsability in your life.


    Also, there is another reason why people should go to the university. As you all know, we do not know what will happen next after ten years, or in what circumstances we are. But because of that reason, we might not know who and what kind of person we all will become. So, it is better to study a carrer that you like and be prepare for anything that migh happen after your first degree (Bachelor Degree). No ones know what will happen the next year, no one will tell us what to do if something bad happens, so I suggest that people should go to the university to learn new things and to increase their knowledge. While going to the universitym, people will learn new things and will hear the experiences of what older people had passed through theirbetter and worse time in their life. After listening to all the poeple who had been through all different kind of situations, then students will have a very different perspective than before. They will try to do the things right, and will try to do the things that other people have not done. In other words, after listening to all the experiences of the professors, they will encourage themselves to do the things that they will be very glad to in order to succes their goals.




    Overall, it is a necessity for all of us to learn and experience new things. We should all go to the university in order to gain more knowledge. Perhaps it will be difficult to study all the subjects for almost four years for a degree, but it will be worth it for the future so that you will be prepare for every circumstances you wil experienced. Students will learn from the errors of what the professors had been through and will try not to do the same as they did. Therefore, if you have a dream, you need to find a way to make it come true and for that, first, you need to increase your knowledge and the right place for that is by going to the university.
    Is this part of a TOEFL course you are doing?

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    #3

    Re: Why do you think people attend college or university? TOEFL

    Well I do not go to any courses, nevertheless, I have many topics from TOEFL books that i will like to write and practice my writing skills here.

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