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  1. #11
    Marina Gaidar's Avatar
    Marina Gaidar is offline Member
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    Default Re: After his run away he is exposed to all the blades of his enemies

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Well, for a start, we don't say "After his run away ...". It would be "After running away" or "After he ran away", or "Having run away".

    "A runaway" is a person who runs away/who has run away, it's not a noun for the action of running away.
    Ok, it is for the start I will correct this in my translation. And what else is not appropriate here?

  2. #12
    BobK's Avatar
    BobK is offline Harmless drudge
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    Default Re: After his run away he is exposed to all the blades of his enemies

    Or, to sound a little old-fasioned, you could say 'After his flight...'

    b

  3. #13
    Marina Gaidar's Avatar
    Marina Gaidar is offline Member
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    Default Re: After his run away he is exposed to all the blades of his enemies

    Quote Originally Posted by BobK View Post
    Or, to sound a little old-fasioned, you could say 'After his flight...'

    b
    Thanks! So, everything else makes sense, I suppose?

  4. #14
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: After his run away he is exposed to all the blades of his enemies

    Quote Originally Posted by Marina Gaidar View Post
    Thanks! So, everything else makes sense, I suppose?
    If by "makes sense" you mean that it is possible to ascertain the meaning, then yes. As I showed in a previous post, I was able to work out what you meant. You also said that you intended the translation to be somewhat old-fashioned and retain the feeling of the Russian original. It certainly doesn't sound like natural modern English, so if that was your aim then you have been successful.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

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