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    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
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      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Apr 2008
    • Posts: 35
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    #1

    Please help me improve the following sentences!

    Please help me improve the following sentences!

    The FA, after careful consideration, has decided to drastically reduce the bookings of our playground pitches, since September 2012. Their relatively surprisingly decision has caused a sharp drop in the usage rate of our playground pitches thereafter.

    Reasons for the FA reduce the bookings of our playground pitches:

    The newly-appointed coach of ABC football team, which have used our pitches for training for years, repeatedly criticized the surface of our pitches uneven and frequently water-logged, which easily caused their players injury.

    Our playground, in the eyes of ABC football team, has never been accessible, which brings lots of inconvenience to them for training and increases their costs on traveling.

    Thank you very much!

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
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      • English
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      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 3,505
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    #2

    Re: Please help me improve the following sentences!

    Quote Originally Posted by chowbarry View Post
    Please help me improve the following sentences!

    The FA, after careful consideration, has decided to drastically reduce the bookings of our playground pitches , since September 2012. Since then, their relatively surprisingly decision has caused a sharp drop in the usage rate of our playground pitches thereafter.

    Reasons for the FA reduce the reduction of bookings of our playground pitches:

    The newly-appointed coach of the ABC football team, which have has used our pitches for training for years, repeatedly criticized the surface of our pitches as uneven and frequently water-logged, which easily caused their players injury.

    Our playground, in the eyes of the ABC football team, has never been accessible useable, which brings causes lots a lot of inconvenience to them for training and increases their costs on traveling for travel.

    Thank you very much!
    b.

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Apr 2008
    • Posts: 35
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: Please help me improve the following sentences!

    billmcd, thank you very much!

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