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  1. #1
    Lakeshia McLaurin is offline Newbie
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    Default Help revising this sentence

    While elaborating on my reasons for stress due to financial problems, the lack of support from my parents and other health related issues; I am still striving to be successful by completing my goals.

  2. #2
    Barb_D's Avatar
    Barb_D is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Help revising this sentence

    Despite the stress of financial, family, and health problems, I still strive to complete my goals.

    (You aren't really spending much time elaborating as you are striving, are you?)
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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