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  1. #1
    gauri_agr is offline Member
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    Default need urgent help on vote of thanks

    Hi,

    I have to say vote of thanks on this Saturday after an Indian Festival, which will have food, DJ, and stage performance by the kids. I tried to write it in poetry way below

    Please correct the grammar or anything else which look weird here

    --------------------------------

    I stand here and day dream
    I wish I could see my India
    I wish I could show my children my beautiful festival "Diwali"
    My day dream came out true
    God send Deepa and Bindu to take the initiative and to organize my day dream
    I thank Deepa and Bindu to maintain this tradition for past seven years
    God sent Chitra to book this hall
    A hall where my day dream came true
    God sent Lisa to let us rent this beautiful hall
    A hall where my day dream came out true
    I thank "Chitra" and "Lisa" for facilitating this hall.
    How could my day dream be full fill without the Indian food
    God sent Indian delight to make my day dream true
    I thank Indian delight to deliver the delicious India food
    How can I survive by myself I am not at all powerful, I need the help of others to survive
    God send a ton of volunteers to decorate this hall to look like a festive place
    The volunteers who also helped in many other unnamed tasks
    I thank to all the volunteers to make my day dream happen
    My heartfelt thank to all moms who make their children prepare for dance, music poems and prayers
    Moms who do not have the replacement like GOD
    My day dream came out true
    God send "Vidhy" with full of energy to shop for Diwali
    I thank "Vidhya" for all her Shopping help
    My innerslef was dancing with joy to see my day dream true
    "Suresh" helped us to organize DJ and all others also joined to dance with joy
    My great thanks to "Suresh" to bring a beautiful DJ
    Last but not least I thanks to all the grandparents to present here to bless us.
    Thank you all.
    -------------------------------


    Thanks
    Gauri

  2. #2
    Gillnetter is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: need urgent help on vote of thanks

    Quote Originally Posted by gauri_agr View Post
    Hi,

    I have to say vote of thanks on this Saturday after an Indian Festival, which will have food, DJ, and stage performance by the kids. I tried to write it in poetry way below

    Please correct the grammar or anything else which look weird here

    --------------------------------

    I stand here and day dream
    daydream
    I wish I could see my India
    I wish I could show my children my beautiful festival, "Diwali" ("my festival" means that you own the festival - I would use "the festival")
    My day dream came out true (At this point I would discontinue using "daydream" and start using "dream")
    God send Deepa and Bindu to take the initiative and to organize my day dream
    I thank Deepa and Bindu to maintain for maintaining this tradition for past seven years
    God sent Chitra to book this hall
    A hall where my day dream came true
    God sent Lisa to let help us rent this beautiful hall
    A hall where my day dream came out true
    I thank "Chitra" and "Lisa" for facilitating this hall.
    How could my day dream be full fill fulfilled without the Indian food?
    God sent Indian delight to make my day dream true (Is "Indian delight the name of a company? If so, then capitalize "Delight")
    I thank Indian delight to deliver for delivering the delicious India food
    How can I survive by myself? I am not at all powerful, I need the help of others to survive
    God send a ton of volunteers to decorate this hall to look like a festive place
    The volunteers who also helped in many other unnamed tasks
    I thank to all the volunteers to make my day dream happen
    My heartfelt thank to all the moms who make prepared their children prepare for dance, music, poems and prayers
    Moms who do not have the replacement like GOD (I don't understand this line)
    My day dream came out true
    God send "Vidhy" with ,full of energy to shop for Diwali
    I thank "Vidhya" for all her shopping help
    My innerslef innerself was dancing with joy to see my day dream come true
    "Suresh" helped us to organize DJ the music and all others also joined to dance with joy
    My great thanks to "Suresh" to bring for being a beautiful DJ
    Last but not least, I thanks to all the grandparents to present here to bless us.
    Thank you all.
    -------------------------------


    Thanks
    Gauri
    Gil

  3. #3
    gauri_agr is offline Member
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    Default Re: need urgent help on vote of thanks

    Thanks Gil. I am bit confident now and will make the changes as you suggested...Thanks, Gauri

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