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  1. #1
    Jav88_Arg's Avatar
    Jav88_Arg is offline Newbie
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    Cool "A Valuable Lesson"

    Please correct my style.


    Julie waved down a lot of taxis, but none of them stopped. It was raining heavily, and she was getting late for work. Suddenly, a man in a black raincoat approached her and offered her his umbrella.
    - Do you need a ride? he asked, smiling broadly My car is over there, next to the lamp post.
    Julie thought it would be really impolite to refuse his offer, and so they both got into the car. The man started driving, but he didn't ask her where she was going. Before she could utter a word, another man appeared from behind her seat and covered her mouth with his hands. Julie cried with despair, but nobody could either hear nor see her, as the car had tinted windows. All of a sudden, the driver took a gun from his pocket, but before he could shoot her, Julie kicked him strongly, making him lose control of the car. They immediately crashed into a truck. Both men died in the accident, and Julie ended up in a wheelchair. This taught her a valuable lesson. She will never trust a stranger again.
    Last edited by Jav88_Arg; 02-Dec-2012 at 23:00.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: "A Valuable Lesson"

    I'm not sure what you mean by "correct my style". What style were you trying to write in?
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

  3. #3
    Jav88_Arg's Avatar
    Jav88_Arg is offline Newbie
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    Re: "A Valuable Lesson"

    No style in particular... I just meant I want to know which sentences do not sound natural.

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