Need confirmation on the grammer of my wedding invite

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life_mine18

New member
Joined
Dec 8, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Kannada
Home Country
India
Current Location
India
Hi,

Just wanted to be double sure that the below wedding invite is without any grammer mistakes. Also please let me know how to remove the redundancy in the date.
Kindly assist.

_______________________________________________________________________
Dear Friends,

Together we spent time so memorable not knowing that 27 years of
bachelor life rolled by
Now on Friday, XXth Dec 2012,
I resign my bachelor life and
step into a new beginning of wedded life with
XXXXXX
Nothing would give me immense pleasure
than to have you on the occasion.
On Friday, XX[SUP]th [/SUP]Dec 2012 as your clock creeps between
10:05 am to 10:45 am
_______________________________________________________________________

 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Hi,

Just wanted to be double sure that the below wedding invite is without any grammar mistakes. Also please let me know how to remove the redundancy in the date.
Kindly assist.

_______________________________________________________________________
Dear Friends,

Together we spent time so memorable not knowing that 27 years of
bachelor life rolled by
Now on Friday, XXth Dec 2012,
I resign my bachelor life and
step into a new beginning of wedded life with
XXXXXX
Nothing would give me immense pleasure
than to have you on the occasion.
On Friday, XX[SUP]th [/SUP]Dec 2012 as your clock creeps between
10:05 am to 10:45 am
_______________________________________________________________________


The wording of your invitation is rather unusual and flowery. Are you sending it to native English speakers or to your family and friends who are native Kannada speakers but understand English?

My suggestion might be:

My 27 enjoyable years as a bachelor are about to come to an end. On Friday, XXth of December 2012, I will leave that bachelor life behind and step into a whole new life of wedded bliss with XXXXXXXX.
Nothing would give me more pleasure than to share this happy occasion with you.
Please attend at [exact time].

Perhaps your culture does not have a specific time for weddings but to me, it sounds very odd to ask people to come sometime between 10.05 and 10.45. Surely you need them to be there before the actual wedding ceremony takes place.
 
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