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  1. #1
    Ainur Syazwina is offline Newbie
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    Post I knew this is my moment.

    The day to take the PMR result, I was already know that I will not get straight As because I already check the PMR exam paper before, I can only got 6As. So that day, I came without expecting any miracle will happen. I came early that day. 9 o'clock in the morning I was up but the PMR results come out at 11 am. At 11 am, Datin Aslindawati make an announcement on the stage. She asked everyone come in the hall and line up according to their classes.

    After that, Puan Mystrical gave a speech. She said this year, batch of 97 make a new records because this year there was 9O students that got straight A's in PMR. I know I'm not included in the 90 person. Lying if I said I did not want 8A's, but I realize that I was not smart enough to get straight A's. So when the teacher want to announce that straight A's student, I just pretend that I am not there. Suddenly, my name was called. I was stunned a moment there. That time I felt like time had stopped, my heart is dislodged and all of these was like a dream.

    After coming out of the hall, I directly call my mom and my mom was shocked. She did not expect it but when I heard her voice, I know she was very happy because her efforts for all these day was not in vain. Not in vain she and my dad work day and night, just because want to send me to the tuition class. After that, I went to the car, to meet my father, he did not come out from the car because he was tired and sleepy. He just came back from work and directly send me to school to take the PMR result. I do not blame him because of not come out from the car. I know he's tired.

    When he knew I got straight A's, his face changed. Not even sleepy. Since that time, my father was busy talking that he was proud of me. One verse touched me most of all was the day, he said "Just now I was very sleepy, but when I found out that you get 8A's, I don't feeling sleepy anymore". At that time, I feel like going to cry. My heart is truly touched. Since that time, I was determined to study hard to achieve success.

    I am very happy because all the tests that I had to face before, are rewarded with a gift fair enough. Really the scholars said, where there is a rainbow,there is a rain before. When I was afflicted with the tests, I've felt like giving up, but my friends and my family was always around me. This year was the worst year of my life so far but this year also the best year to none in my life. I learned a lot of things this year. I learned the importance of religion in life, I learned how distinguish friends and foes and many more I learn through trials that I have faced this year. And also this year I've got a lot of new contacts. Thank you God. After all of these I know that this year is my moment.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: I knew this is my moment.

    Before we do anything else with this piece, you need to go and look at every single verb you have used and check the tense. The piece contains almost every possible tense and many of them are used incorrectly.

    Your story takes place in the past. To begin, try putting every verb into the simple past (except the final paragraph).

    You can do this by clicking on "Edit Post" under your original post and then changing the contents. Remember to save the changes afterwards.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

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