Please see my amendments and comments above. You overused "as well as", and I'm not quite sure about your use of "liberality" and "internationality" but to be honest, I couldn't immediately come up with an improvement so I have left them.Hello everyone,
I'm applying for a semester abroad with the ERASMUS program and although I'm an English student it would really help me if you could look through it and correct major mistakes or awkward sentences. Thank you very much in advance.
BTW I don't know why one paragraph is in bold but for some reason I can't turn it off... I'm sorry about that.
Here it is:
I am writing to you in order to apply for a place at the ERASMUS exchange program in the summer term 2014. My name is _______ and I’m in my fourth semester of studying to become a teacher
forof English and History, and in my first semester of my bachelor in English and American studies.
I decided to apply for this program because I am
stronglyvery interested in experiencing different lifestyles, cultures and mentalities. I am sure that this exchange would enrich me, both personally and academically. In my opinion, intercultural exchange is necessary to understand the close-knit and fast-moving society we live in, and learning from one another is an advantage in every aspect. Studying abroad would also help me gain a broader knowledge of the[name of country + apostrophe + s] culture and language as well as experience a different approach to education, which will be very helpful, particularly when wantingas I want to become a teacher myself.
The first university I chose to apply for is [the] (you might not need "the" depending on the name of the university) ________ in the UK. I’m really interested in the British lifestyle and the UK has always been of interest to me; I’ve
been therevisited five times so far and cannot wait to go again. _______ particularly interests me for various reasons.
they offerit offers an extensive range of different courses for exchange students. I would like to participate in courses such as “Language Learning and Teaching” where I could acquire new teaching techniques as well as get an impression of British schools, “Classics of British Children’s Literature” which offers insight into a genre which highlygreatly interests me and would help me intensifywiden my knowledge inof literature, and “’68: Cultural Revolution and the Sixties in Britain” which constitutes a fusion between cultural studies and history. Those are just three among many courses that would not only interest me and enable me to broaden my knowledge in terms of literature and cultural studies but also suit my academic career in ______ very well. If it is possible to attend courses not only in English studies but also in history there are even more interesting options to consider such as “From Slavery to Freedom: The Caribbean, 1763-1838” or “Gandhi to Mandela: the Rise and Fall of Apartheid in South Africa” which are just two examples that would open a whole new chapter of history to me that I have not yet touched upon.
Secondly, the University of _____ is a relatively modern one, founded in 1927. The modernity is extremely attractive in my opinion, since in Austria most institutions of higher education tend to be older. I think a modern setting gives rise to innovative and creative discussions in a way that differs from the traditional model of education at universities. That might be only a theory but I would like to put it into practice and try it out.
And thirdly, the University of ______ has been ranked among the highest in terms of student satisfaction. Some 88% of the students expressed their satisfaction with the learning and overall environment (you need to add your source for this information - ie the name and date of the student satisfaction survey). When reading this it only underlined my choice of university more. I want to be a part of this educational institution.
My second choice would be the University of ______. The Netherlands
alsoappealed to me due to theirthe high standard of living as well as theirthe liberality. The University of _____ is well known for its high standards in the liberal arts and humanities and the wide range of courses offered, andwhich are fortunately open forto international students. The ________ academy provides extensive courses in history as well as English studies I would benefit from, since they are not offered in ____, and they interconnect history and language on many levels. ParticularlyCourses in Gender Studies as well asand Cultural Studies particularly appeal to me. greatly.I would also like to learn about Dutch history as well asand politics during my stay.
The fact that, while studying in _____, each student
getsis assigned a tutor to advise and help them is an advantage that I would like to experience firsthand. I am sure that this will enrich my stay and support my studies as well as help me to adapt to a new environment quickly. I also think that _______ University is attractive in terms of its internationality. With over 2000 international students coming to the university every year and about 125 different nationalities studying and working together, _______ provides a perfect environment to get to knowmake many new friends. This is an opportunity to improve my English skills and sociocultural competence.
reallyvery much hope to getbe nominated for a place at ____ or _____ University for the summer term 2014. Thank you in advance for considering my application.
- For Teachers