how to write a motivation letter

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Emilyyy

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hello, I'm writing a motivation letter for the first time and I really need a person's help who knows English very well. here is my letter, could you check and correct it please?

Dear Sir.
With this letter, I would like to apply for the Erasmus Mundus Action 2 Programme at the University of Bologna, Italy. I found information about this programme at the exchange students departament in my University.
First of all, I would like to introduce myself. I am Madona Kondaridze, a second year Bachelor student in batumi Shota Rustaveli University, Georgia. I have been interested in spending a term as an exchange student since I began University. There are several reasons for my interest to participate in this programme. To study abroad will give me the opportunity to get experience in other educational system. Sharing experiences with the other students who have different backgrounds would be very useful in improve my communication skills. I am enough sociable gained through my experience as an administrator and I have a good adapt to multicultural environment, it will help to work with people from different cultures.
I am informed the University of Bologna has a quite old history and there work high qualificative professors, it is really important to meto study in the University with excellent backgrounds. To take a part in Erasmus Mundus Programme will be one of the biggest step for my future career being a successful manager.
Thank you for the time to consider my application. I am looking forward to participating in this life-changing experience at your university. If thereare any further questions, please contact me by phone:
 

Grumpy

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hello, I'm writing a motivation letter for the first time and I really need a person's help who knows English very well. here is my letter, could you check and correct it please?

Dear Sir.
[STRIKE]With this letter,[/STRIKE] I would like to apply for the Erasmus Mundus Action 2 Programme at the University of Bologna[STRIKE], Italy[/STRIKE]. I found the information about this programme at the exchange students depart[STRIKE]a[/STRIKE]ment in my university.
[STRIKE]First of all, I would like to introduce myself.[/STRIKE] I am Madona Kondaridze, a second year Bachelor student in batumi Shota Rustaveli University, Georgia. I have been interested in spending a term as an exchange student since I began University. There are several reasons for my [STRIKE]interest[/STRIKE] wish to participate in this programme. [STRIKE]To study[/STRIKE]Studying abroad [STRIKE]will[/STRIKE]would give me the opportunity to [STRIKE]get[/STRIKE] gain [STRIKE]experience[/STRIKE] valuable insights into another educational system. Also, sharing experiences with[STRIKE] the other[/STRIKE] students [STRIKE]who have[/STRIKE]from different backgrounds would be very useful in improving my communication skills. I [STRIKE]am enough sociable[/STRIKE]have good social skills, gained through my experience as an administrator, and I [STRIKE]have a good[/STRIKE] am confident that I could adapt well to a multicultural environment. This would be a great [STRIKE]help[/STRIKE] opportunity for me to work with people from different cultures.
I [STRIKE]am informed[/STRIKE]understand that the University of Bologna has a [STRIKE]quite old[/STRIKE] old and distinguished history, and [STRIKE]there work high qualificative professors[/STRIKE] has high quality academic staff. It is really important to me to study in [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE]a university with such an excellent background[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE]. To [STRIKE]take a part[/STRIKE]participate in the Erasmus Mundus Programme [STRIKE]will[/STRIKE]would be one of the biggest steps [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE]towards my future career [STRIKE]being[/STRIKE]as a successful manager.
Thank you for [STRIKE]the time to[/STRIKE] considering my application. I am looking forward to participating in this life-changing experience at your university. If there are any [STRIKE]further[/STRIKE] questions, please contact me by phone:

Good luck!
 

Odessa Dawn

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I found information about this programme at the exchange students departament in my University.


I have been interested in spending a term as an exchange student since I began University.
I am informed the University of Bologna has a quite old history and there work high qualificative professors, it is really important to meto study in the University with excellent backgrounds.


Thank you, Grumpy. Isn’t the word university above a common noun? Shouldn’t be started in a lower case letter?
 

Emilyyy

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thank you so much for help )) I'm grateful, I've corrected my motivation letter and here it is )

Dear Sir/Madam
I would like to apply for the Erasmus Mundus Action 2 Programme at the University of Bologna. I found the information about this programme at the exchange students department in my university.
I am Madona Kondaridze, a second year Bachelor student in batumi Shota Rustaveli University, Georgia. I have been interested in spending a term as an exchange student since I began University. There are several reasons for my wish to participate in this programme. Studying abroad would give me the opportunity to gain valuable insights into another educational system. Also, sharing experiences with students from different backgrounds would be very useful in improving my communication skills. I have good social skills, gained through my experience as an administrator, and I am confident that I could adapt well to a multicultural environment. This would be a great opportunity for me to work with people from different cultures.
I understand that the University of Bologna has an old and distinguished history, and has high quality academic staff. It is really important to meto study in a university with such an excellent background. To participate in the Erasmus Mundus Programme would be one of the biggest steps towards my future career as a successful manager.
Thank you for considering my application. I am looking forward to participating in this life-changing experience at your university. If thereare any questions, please contact me by phone:
 
Last edited:

Grumpy

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That is correct, Odessa Dawn. If you look at my amendments to Emilyyy's draft, you will see that these were among the changes I made.
 

Grumpy

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thank you so much for help )) I'm grateful, I've corrected my motivation letter and here it is )

Dear Sir/Madam
I would like to apply for the Erasmus Mundus Action 2 Programme at the University of Bologna. I found the information about this programme at the exchange students department in my university.
I am Madona Kondaridze, a second year Bachelor student in batumi Shota Rustaveli University, Georgia. I have been interested in spending a term as an exchange student since I began University. There are several reasons for my wish to participate in this programme. Studying abroad would give me the opportunity to gain valuable insights into another educational system. Also, sharing experiences with students from different backgrounds would be very useful in improving my communication skills. I have good social skills, gained through my experience as an administrator, and I am confident that I could adapt well to a multicultural environment. This would be a great opportunity for me to work with people from different cultures.
I understand that the University of Bologna has an old and distinguished history, and has high quality academic staff. It is really important to
me to study in a university with such an excellent background. To participate in the Erasmus Mundus Programme would be one of the biggest steps towards my future career as a successful manager.
Thank you for considering my application. I am looking forward to participating in this life-changing experience at your university. If
there are any questions, please contact me by phone:

Just a couple of typos..
 

Emilyyy

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Jan 30, 2013
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Student or Learner
Native Language
Georgian
Home Country
Georgia
Current Location
Georgia
thank you ))) you helped me so much )))
 
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