Masters Motivation Letter Review Please

Status
Not open for further replies.

seriousjake

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Malayalam
Home Country
India
Current Location
United Arab Emirates
Hi, I spent the whole day looking at these words and they've stopped making sense at this point.:-|

Looking for some feedback on the below. I feel there's a lot lacking but I'm not sure what. Don't hesitate to be brutal. Thanks a lot!
______________________

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this motivation letter as part of my application to the Software Engineering master’s program commencing in 2013. Through this letter, I aim to convey the reason for my interest in the university, the relevance of the master’s program to my goals and how my qualifications make me a prime candidate for this program.

I graduated in 2010 with a Bachelor’s of Engineering (Hons) in Computer Science from XXXX. Having graduated in the first division, I developed a solid foundation in the principles of software development and engineering.

Since then, I have worked in several fields including banking, online gaming, website development, and cloud-based data backup and recovery.

Initially, I worked as an IT quality analyst at XXXX where I was fortunate to gain exposure to the practical application of the software development life cycle to banking systems. I moved on from that firm with the intent to freelance as a web developer and website designer. To that end, I taught myself the required programming languages and honed my ability to apply the principles learned through my education and professional experience to provide practical solutions for clients. It was during this period, that my passion for software development really took over me and I independently developed and ran an online gaming service based on the Diablo computer game series by Blizzard Entertainment.

Taking on such a multitude of projects simultaneously ensured I was constantly challenged and instilled in me the ability to thrive in an environment of consistent change and surprises while keeping my technical abilities sharp.

Over the years, I have formed a serious belief in the ability of web applications to solve numerous social problems, in particular, those related to education. My career objective is to lead a team with a vision to solve such social problems through the power of web applications. I feel XXXX will be a fantastic place to explore such an interest thanks to its status as a growing IT hub and I believe it will be an ideal place to interact with and learn from other IT professionals with similar outlooks. Studying and working in XXXX has also been a personal dream of mine. I admire the academic life, work culture and rich heritage and look forward to the opportunity to experience the same.

I am applying for this program as I believe my academic and professional qualifications make me the ideal candidate. My bachelor’s degree is directly related to this master’s and has equipped me with the background necessary to thrive in this field of study. My professional experiences have helped me develop as an IT professional under a wide array of influences. I expect the stimulation of an academic environment will broaden my perspective as a software engineer. The focus of the program on the practical implementation of the course matter along with an opportunity for internship is what I look forward to the most.

I anticipate that acceptance at XXXX will be a wonderful step for me in achieving my ambitions. I believe that by pursuing my education here, I will be in a great position to attain my dream and contribute to the university as well. I hope this motivation letter has conveyed my great desire to be admitted into the master’s program in Software Engineering. I thank you for considering my application.

Sincerely
 

seriousjake

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Malayalam
Home Country
India
Current Location
United Arab Emirates
Would really appreciate some feedback.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top