Need urgent help please with a motivation letter

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thielean

Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
German
Home Country
Germany
Current Location
Germany
I
 
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Gillnetter

Key Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
I would be grateful if you would check part of my motivation letter (to apply for an internship)and give your feedback, thank you very much
You don't need urgent help, you need help urgently.


Motivation letter:

During my internship assisting in the firm X, and my current position as a full responsible accountant, I have developed my analytical skills and a proactive attitude. Studying the last year of my bachelor's as an Erasmus student at X University, as well as my master's with the Problem Based Learning system, allowed me to develop my [STRIKE]cooperation [/STRIKE] cooperative as well as my leadership skills, preparing and defending case studies in a group. Aiming to continue my career in an international environment, I took the initiative to learn German not only due to its practical utility, but also because I enjoy learning [STRIKE]form [/STRIKE] from other cultures. Participating in the traineeship (Which traineeship is that? You have not introduced anything about a traineeship up to this point) would give me an insight [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] into the regular activity of the firm X and the opportunity of learning from high qualified professionals in an international environment. My educational background and the experience in administrative tasks I have gained during my internship and jobs, along with my enthusiasm for learning, make me a suitable candidate for the position. Joining the firm is a challenge for me and I am looking forward to [STRIKE]taking [/STRIKE]the personal and professional development opportunity that the traineeship offers.
You write that you learned German but your profile indicates that you are a native speaker of German. Which one is correct?
 

thielean

Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
German
Home Country
Germany
Current Location
Germany
Dear Gillnetter,

Thank you very much for your feedback and your time.
 
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