[General] letter to Embassy - any corrections are appreciated - thanks XX

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Sonniah

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Dear Sirs,

My name is xxxx , I am a German citizen from xxxx , a place next to Berlin

I am planning to give some financial support to India, especially to a child welfare organization.

Going through the internet to find an appropiate organization, I am somewhat lost because there are so many who would do good with some support.

Therefore I am addressing my enquiry directly to you and would like to ask you for your help:
Could you name some child welfare organizations in New Delhi, to whom I can make a charitable donation.
Name of those of who make sure/enable kids to go to school are much appreciated, but all others as well.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

I look very much forward to receiving your kind reply.


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Grumpy

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Dear Sirs,

My name is xxxx. I am a German citizen from xxxx , [STRIKE]a place next to[/STRIKE] near Berlin.

I am planning to give some financial support to India, [STRIKE]especially[/STRIKE] specifically to a child welfare organization.

[STRIKE]Going[/STRIKE] I have gone through the internet to find an appropiate organization, but I am somewhat lost because there are so many who would [STRIKE]do good with[/STRIKE] benefit from some additional support.

Therefore I am addressing my enquiry directly to you, and would like to ask [STRIKE]you[/STRIKE] for your help.
Could you [STRIKE]name[/STRIKE] nominate some child welfare organizations in New Delhi, to whom I [STRIKE]can[/STRIKE] could make a charitable donation? [STRIKE]Name of [/STRIKE]I am particularly keen to help those [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE]organisations who specifically support children's continuity of education [STRIKE]are much appreciated[/STRIKE], but [STRIKE]all others as wel[/STRIKE] I would also consider any other particularly deserving cases.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

I look very much forward to receiving your [STRIKE]kind[/STRIKE] reply.


unquote

How's that? I hope I have retained the essence of what you wished to say.
 

Sonniah

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Student or Learner
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Dear Grumpy,

That sounds great to me - thanks indeed!

Sonniah
 
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