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Thread: Text Correction

  1. #1
    TheWarWithinPeace is offline Newbie
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    Default Text Correction

    Greetings everyone. I came up with a profile on a certain website recently and I claim that there are many mistakes in this text. Now, I am not a native speaker and thus my knowledge is being questioned. So, I was wondering if someone might be willing to correct the mistakes for him and maybe suggest better words if some of them just don't look right.

    _______________________

    English:
    _______________________

    You can have ever-lasting conversations unless you pose the following clauses : "Where are you?", "Do you want to meet?", "I've no face photo here, but I may show it on cam.", "Shall we screw around?", "I'm not into anal sex.". Supposing you used at least one of these, depending on you, I'll canalize you through three possible ways, which enjoy negative responses.

    1- If your profile says you're Top, I'm not interested.
    2- If you don't attract me, I'm not interested.
    3- If you want to go out or hang out, I'm not interested.

    A hierarchical order does exist in salutation, just as in real life.
    You write, I see, we talk, and decision follows.

    I'm here not because I want to fall in love but because I would like to start something, which provides satisfaction for both of us -In other words, a sex partner.
    My priority is to achieve a consensus about ourselves with the guy I meet and to have fun.
    I do not have any huge expectation, until I find the One.
    When the most suitable and desired body possessed, I'm able to release my inner "Kraken".
    Just as everybody does, I have fantasies and fetishes, too.

  2. #2
    TheWarWithinPeace is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Text Correction

    You can ignore certain parts if you are not comfortable with them... :)

    Anyone?

  3. #3
    Gillnetter is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Text Correction

    Quote Originally Posted by TheWarWithinPeace View Post
    Greetings everyone. I came up with a profile on a certain website recently and I claim that there are many mistakes in this text. Now, I am not a native speaker and thus my knowledge is being questioned. So, I was wondering if someone might be willing to correct the mistakes for him and maybe suggest better words if some of them just don't look right.

    _______________________

    English:
    _______________________

    You can have ever-lasting (An impossible condition. Long, maybe, but not ever-lasting) conversations unless you pose the following clauses (questions) : "Where are you?", "Do you want to meet?", "I've no face photo here, but I may show it on cam.", "Shall we screw around?", "I'm not into anal sex.". Supposing you used at least one of these, depending on you, I'll canalize (To turn into a canal?) you through three possible ways, which enjoy (will bring) negative responses.

    1- If your profile says you're Top, I'm not interested.
    2- If you don't attract me, I'm not interested.
    3- If you want to go out or hang out, I'm not interested.

    A hierarchical order does exist in salutations, just as in real life.
    You write, I see, we talk, and a decision follows.

    I'm here not because I want to fall in love but because I would like to start something, which provides satisfaction for both of us -In other words, a sex partner.
    My priority is to achieve a consensus about ourselves with the guy I meet and to have fun.
    I do not have any huge expectation, until I find the One.
    When the most suitable and desired body possessed appears or comes to me, I'm able to release my inner "Kraken".
    Just as everybody does, I have fantasies and fetishes, too.
    Gil

  4. #4
    TheWarWithinPeace is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Text Correction

    THANK YOU so much for your reply! :)

    Now, when he says "ever-lasting" it's just a saying obviously. You can not take it literally.

    When he says "You can have conversations" he is not referring to other people. What he means is, conversations can be had between him and others. So, doesn't it have to be "We can have conversations" instead?

    It can not be "questions" because not all of them are questions. So, why is "clauses" wrong? This is important. And, how about using "phrases" instead?

    "I'll canalize (To turn into a canal?) you" looool :D My response was exactly the same. And how can we correct this? "I'll direct you" seems okay? Also, your "(will bring)" correction is technically correct but the meaning demands a different use of words. Those three ARE the negative responses and nothing will actually "bring" any negative responses. So, it should be something like this: "Supposing you used at least one of these, I'll direct you through three possible negative responses depending on you." Agreed? :)

    "I'm here not because I want to fall in love but because I would like to start something, which provides satisfaction for both of us -In other words, a sex partnership." ? He says he wants to "start something" after all...

    "to achieve a consensus about ourselves" does not seems right at all. What do you think? I think, "to be able to get along with the guy I meet and to have fun." seems a lot better. Any thoughts regarding this?

    "I do not have any huge expectations, until I find the one." Hmm?

    In the final sentence, there are some additional words in his native tongue which can be translated as "depending on the other person" and I don't think the "too" should be at the end. "Just like everybody does, I too have fantasies and fetishes depending on the other party." seems alright?

  5. #5
    TheWarWithinPeace is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Text Correction

    Quote Originally Posted by TheWarWithinPeace View Post
    You can ignore certain parts if you are not comfortable with them... :)

    Anyone?
    I find myself in the same spot again... :)

    Anyone??... :D

    Gil?..

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