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  1. #1
    saloom2's Avatar
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    Smile Sentence in business letter.

    Hello everyone,

    Does this sentence sound naturally?

    I am writing with regard to your plan of replacing our beautiful garden with a car park. Unfortunately, the majority of the dwellers expostulate with it after they had contemplated the drawbacks.

    Also,
    Is there any formal word instead of 'WELL' to form a pause? like in this sentence to end to letter.

    Thank you in advance for your assistance. I would be grateful (instead of I'm grateful)

    I appreciate it. Thanks
    Last edited by saloom2; 11-Feb-2013 at 10:06.

  2. #2
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    Grumpy is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Sentence in business letter.

    Quote Originally Posted by saloom2 View Post
    Hello everyone,

    Does these sentences sound naturally?

    I am writing with regard to your plan of replacing our beautiful garden with a car park. Unfortunately, the majority of the dwellers expostulate with it after they had contemplated the drawbacks.

    Also,
    Is there any formal word instead of 'WELL' to form a pause? Like in this sentence to end the letter.[this is not a complete sentence]

    Thank you in advance for your assistance. I would be grateful (instead of I'm grateful). [nor is this]

    I appreciate it. Thanks
    Sorry, but it does not sound natural. The best, most effective, communication is always the most straightforward. Never use a long, complicated word when a short, simple one is available. I would write the sentences thus.

    "I am writing about your plan to replace our beautiful garden with a car park. Most of the householders affected do not agree with it."

    I'm not sure what you mean by a formal word to form a pause in written English. If you mean something like "Well, thank you for your assistance", I would say that you do not need to insert anything. If you feel you must, then something like "Finally" will do.
    I'm not a teacher of English, but I have spoken it for (almost) all of my life....

  3. #3
    saloom2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sentence in business letter.

    Well, I am currently confused. I should write FORMAL words in the formal letters? right ? so why what I have written is wrong?? :) Do complicated words affect my writing? w

    I am writing with regard to your plan of replacing our beautiful garden with a car park. Unfortunately, the majority of the dwellers expostulate with it after they had contemplated the drawbacks.


  4. #4
    Rover_KE is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Sentence in business letter.

    Grumpy is absolutely correct. Your letter sounds unnatural, florid and pretentious.

    Grumpy's letter is perfectly formal and straight to the point. By comparison, an informal one would read 'About this plan of yours to make a car park out of our nice garden — most of us who live round here think it stinks'.

    Rover

  5. #5
    SoothingDave is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Sentence in business letter.

    Quote Originally Posted by saloom2 View Post
    Well, I am currently confused. I should write FORMAL words in the formal letters? right ? so why what I have written is wrong?? :) Do complicated words affect my writing? w

    I am writing with regard to your plan of replacing our beautiful garden with a car park. Unfortunately, the majority of the dwellers expostulate with it after they had contemplated the drawbacks.

    "Expostulate" is not a common word at all. I had to look it up to see what it meant. It is best to avoid using obscure words.

  6. #6
    saloom2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sentence in business letter.

    In a nutshell, Using a simple words grab attention much better than using those strong words? Will is attract my examiner's attention?

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