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  1. #1
    Ashiuhto is offline Senior Member
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    Default lose concentration

    Please help me correct the following paragrapah. Thanks!

    We found that most people who suffer from insomnia almost have an unhealthy lifestyle. They always stay up late or all night and don’t get enough amount of sleep. As a result, they need to get more time to make up their sleep at daytime. Therefore, their biological clock has been reversed. Under the vicious spiral, they feel extremely tired and exhausted, and they are gradually tortured by insomnia which makes people drained and lose concentration.

    Last edited by Ashiuhto; 14-Feb-2013 at 03:06.

  2. #2
    Ashiuhto is offline Senior Member
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    Default biological clock

    Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!

    We found that most people who suffer from insomnia almost have an unhealthy lifestyle. They always stay up late or all night and don’t get enough amount of sleep. As a result, they need to get more time to make up their sleep at daytime. Therefore, their biological clock has been reversed. Under the vicious spiral, they feel extremely tired and exhausted, and they are gradually tortured by insomnia which makes people drained and lose concentration.

  3. #3
    billmcd is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: biological clock

    Quote Originally Posted by Ashiuhto View Post
    Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!

    We found that most people who suffer from insomnia almost usually have an unhealthy lifestyle. They always Many stay up late or all night and generally, don’t get enough amount of sleep. As a result , They need to get more time during the day to make up their lack of sleep at daytime. Therefore, As a result, their biological clock has been reversed. Under the this vicious spiral, they feel extremely tired and exhausted, and they are gradually tortured by insomnia, which makes people which drains their energy drained and lose causes loss of concentration.
    Suggestions.
    Last edited by billmcd; 14-Feb-2013 at 14:56. Reason: typos

  4. #4
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: lose concentration

    Quote Originally Posted by Ashiuhto View Post
    Please help me correct the following paragrapah. Thanks!

    We found that most people who suffer from insomnia almost have an unhealthy lifestyle. They always stay up late (or all night​) and don’t get enough amount of sleep. As a result, they need to get more time to make up for that lack of their sleep at during the daytime. Therefore, their biological clock has been reversed. Under Due to the this vicious spiral circle, they feel extremely tired and exhausted (tautologous - exhausted means extremely tired), and they are gradually tortured by insomnia, which makes making people them feel drained and causing them to lose concentration.

    See my amendments above. You really can't be gradually tortured!
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

  5. #5
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Default Re: lose concentration

    Ashiuhto, PLEASE stop posting the same paragraph for correction more than once. Your two threads were identical in content but had different titles. Consequently, billmcd took time correcting one of them, and I took time correcting the other. This is not only confusing for us and for you, but is also becoming a waste of our time.

    Please look through all the threads you have posted and delete any duplicates. Please be far more careful with your posts in future. We appear to be writing your entire essay/thesis on insomnia for you, two or three sentences at a time which is really not acceptable, but it's even worse if we end up doing it twice.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

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