Please check and correct part of my motivation letter, will be so grateful

Status
Not open for further replies.

jeziorski

Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Polish
Home Country
Poland
Current Location
Poland
I chose this university, because it is recommended by the Polish company called ‘eduABROAD’. I read all the information about the Saxion University and I am impressed. An ideal place for studying. On the other hand, the institution is located in developed country. The Netherlands offers full democracy and human freedom. The government is trying to make life better and easier. The International Business & Management course fits me the most. I am a student who prefer science. Since childhood I was interested in mathematics. Now I am working hard every day to pass my exam very well. I wonder If it is possible to get to the Netherlands and study, live there. Of course, I could study in my country but then I would regret that I wasted my life and future. It is valid for me to meet new people, culture. I am not able to stay in one place for a long period. I am mature and want to try something new which raise some adrenalin. It could be an instructive lesson of how to live alone. I would like to work as well. This solution teaches how to dispose of earned money, not like before when parents were buying everything. I am interested in football, especially in European league. The Netherlands is known for its football at a high level. The atmosphere in the stadium is otherworldly, fans behave properly. I would like to see a match live, it is my second dream. I am trying to practice my English language every day. I am afraid that I will have troubles whit communicating even knowing the language. Please take it into account that I am ambitious and never give up.


Please help me, it is urgent. Write your suggestions.
 

billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
I chose this university, because it is recommended by the Polish company called ‘eduABROAD’. I have read all the information about [STRIKE] the [/STRIKE] Saxion University and I am very much impressed. It is an ideal [STRIKE] place [/STRIKE] institution for study [STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE].[STRIKE] On the other hand[/STRIKE] (this term is typically used for opposing views or arguments, and I don't think that is what you intend), among other reasons because the institution is located in developed country . and The Netherlands offers full democracy and [STRIKE]human[/STRIKE] personal freedom. The government is trying to make life better and easier. The International Business & Management course fits me [STRIKE]the most[/STRIKE] perfectly. I am a student who prefers science. Since childhood I [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] have been interested in mathematics. Now I am working hard every day to pass my exam [STRIKE]very well [/STRIKE]. [STRIKE] I wonder If it is possible to get to the Netherlands and study, live there [/STRIKE] My objective is to study and live in the Netherlands. [STRIKE] Of course [/STRIKE], I could, of course, study in my country but then I would regret that I wasted the possible opportunity [STRIKE] my life and [/STRIKE] improve my future. It is [STRIKE]valid[/STRIKE] important for me to meet new people , and experience a new culture. [STRIKE]I am not able to stay in one place for a long period.[/STRIKE] (this is not necessarily a positive attribute) I am mature and [STRIKE] want to try something new which raise some adrenalin. It could be an instructive lesson of how to live alone. [/STRIKE] I want the experience of living independently and I would like to work as well. This [STRIKE] solution teaches how to dispose of earned money, not like before when parents were buying everything. [/STRIKE] would also allow me to experience a degree of financial independence. [STRIKE]I am interested in [/STRIKE] Among my non-academic interests are football, especially in European league. The Netherlands is known for its football at a high level. The atmosphere in the stadium is [STRIKE]otherworldly[/STRIKE] fantastic and fans behave properly. I would like to see a match live, it is my second dream. Also, I am trying to practice my English language every day. [STRIKE] I am afraid that I will have troubles whit communicating even knowing the language.[/STRIKE] (don't include negative attributes in correspondence such as this) Please take it into account that I am ambitious and never give up. (You need a better closing statement, work on it.)
Please help me, it is urgent. Write your suggestions.

Suggestions. Please don't indicate that requests such as this are "urgent". This is not an "Emergency Forum".
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top