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  1. #1
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    Default define oneself in terms of another

    1. The theme I can think of from this writing is "lovers of complementary charateristics attracted to each other easily", so what does "define oneself in terms of another person" mean? It's hard to think of.
    2. What do lovers of opposite types need "the tension", while they are attracted to each other? Is "tension" used in another way?

    st59)Robert Solomon suggests that love is about attempting to define oneself in terms of another person. It is an idea, in Western society, that two separate and autonomous persons are free to make choices, among these choices being that of (romantic) partner. For the partnerships to work, however, there has to be the tension that comes from relatively opposed forces. So, if one seeks a relationship with a person who has complementary characteristics to one's own, this lead to an increasing excitement...For example, if you are a rather calm and quiet person who seeks certainty in life, you might well be attracted to a more outgoing person who is comfortable with uncertainty and who likes to move things on. This is simultaneously filling in a missing part and creating a certain different influence.

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    Default Re: define oneself in terms of another

    The most I can get out of it is: I like her because she is good at things I'm not good at. Or perhaps, she will take care of those matters that I don't wish to be bothered with, and I will deal with the things I like dealing with. It's not as stark and simplistic as "opposites attract" but it's along those lines.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: define oneself in terms of another

    I'm sorry, your answer is quite close to the desired answers of my questions, but I'd like to know the meaning of "define oneself in terms of another person" and "tension"

  4. #4
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    Default Re: define oneself in terms of another

    If only someone could answer me about "define oneself in terms of another person"!

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