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  1. #1
    Ashiuhto is offline Senior Member
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    Default see through the vanity of life

    Are the following sentences acceptable?

    1. He has seen through the vanity of life and the world, so he took tonsure and became a Buddhist monk.
    2. He has been disillusioned with life in general, so he took tonsureand became a Buddhist monk.

  2. #2
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    5jj is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: see through the vanity of life

    Quote Originally Posted by Ashiuhto View Post
    1. He has seen through the vanity of life and the world, so he took tonsure and became a Buddhist monk.
    2. He has been disillusioned with life in general, so he took tonsurespaceand became a Buddhist monk.
    Either change the tense of the verbs I've coloured blue to the past simple, or change that of those I've coloured red to the present perfect.

    I am not too well acquainted with religious practices, but I don't think that you 'take' tonsure.

  3. #3
    Ashiuhto is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: see through the vanity of life

    1. He saw through the vanity of life and the world, so he took tonsure and became a Buddhist monk.
    2. He was disillusioned with life in general, so he took tonsure and became a Buddhist monk.

  4. #4
    robbarron is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: see through the vanity of life

    Further to other answers, I would link the two clauses by using a participle clause rather than using 'so':

    Having seen through the vanity of life and the world, he took tonsure and became a Buddhist monk.
    Having become disillusioned with life in general, he took tonsure and became a Buddhist monk.

    Whilst not a common collocation, the meaning of 'take tonsure' would be clearly understood - at least by those who know what tonsure is!

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