[General] Please correct second part

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jeziorski

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I chose this university, because it is recommended by the Polish company called ‘eduABROAD’. I read all the information about the Saxion University and I am impressed. An ideal place for studying. On the other hand, the institution is located in developed country. The Netherlands offers full democracy and human freedom. The government is trying to make life better and easier. The International Business & Management course fits me the most. I am a student who prefer science. Since childhood I was interested in mathematics. Now I am working hard every day to pass my exam very well. I wonder If it is possible to get to the Netherlands and study, live there. Of course, I could study in my country but then I would regret that I wasted my life and future. It is valid for me to meet new people, culture. I am not able to stay in one place for a long period. I am mature and want to try something new which raise some adrenalin. It could be an instructive lesson of how to live alone. I would like to work as well. This solution teaches how to dispose of earned money, not like before when parents were buying everything. I am interested in football, especially in European league. The Netherlands is known for its football at a high level. The atmosphere in the stadium is otherworldly, fans behave properly. I would like to see a match live, it is my second dream. I am trying to practice my English language every day. I am afraid that I will have troubles whit communicating even knowing the language. Please take it into account that I am ambitious and never give up.


Thanks
 

jeziorski

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Please help me, it is urgent!
 

billmcd

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I chose this university, because it is recommended by the Polish company called ‘eduABROAD’. I have read all the information about the Saxion University and I am impressed. It seems to be an ideal place for studying. [STRIKE] On the other hand [/STRIKE] (This term is typically used for opposing statements and would not be what you intend in this correspondence), [STRIKE] The institution is located in developed country [/STRIKE] (This is obvious and the statement could be considered offensive). The Netherlands offers full democracy and human freedom.(This is also obvious) [STRIKE] The government is trying to make life better and easier. [/STRIKE] (Please don't patronize) The International Business & Management course fits me [STRIKE]the most[/STRIKE] perfectly. I am a student who prefers science. Since childhood I [STRIKE] was [/STRIKE] have been interested in mathematics. Now, I am working hard every day to pass my exam [STRIKE] very well [/STRIKE]. I [STRIKE] wonder If it is possible to get to [/STRIKE] study and live in the Netherlands [STRIKE] and study, live there [/STRIKE]. Of course, I could study in my country but then I would regret that I wasted my life and future. (Really?? This is borderline egotistical) It is [STRIKE]valid[/STRIKE] important for me to meet new people, and experience a new culture. I am not able to stay in one place for a long period. (? This conflicts with your statement about living in the Netherlands.) I consider myself to be mature [STRIKE]I am mature [/STRIKE] and I want to[STRIKE] try something new which raise some adrenalin [/STRIKE] experience a new environment and culture. It could be an instructive lesson of how to live alone. I would like to work as well. This [STRIKE]solution[/STRIKE] experience would allow me to learn how to manage my financial affairs as opposed to [STRIKE]teaches how to dispose of earned money, not like before when [/STRIKE] my parents were[STRIKE] buying everything [/STRIKE] being responsible for my finances.

I like sports and particularly [STRIKE]I am interested in [/STRIKE] football, especially in the European league. The Netherlands is known for its football at a high level. The atmosphere in the stadium is otherworldly. Fans behave properly. I would like to see a match live, it is my second dream. I am trying to practice my English language every day. [STRIKE]I am afraid that I will have troubles whit communicating even knowing the language. [/STRIKE]Please take it into account that I am ambitious and never give up.


Thanks

Please don't indicate that your queries are "urgent". Patience is a virtue.
 

jeziorski

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Thank u very much :)
 

emsr2d2

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Thank you very much. :)

Remember to use full English words at all times in this forum. "U" is not a word. "You" is the word you were looking for.
 
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