Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: a request

  1. #1
    ziawj2 is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    234
    Post Thanks / Like

    a request

    I wrote a message to my landlord. Could you help me check it to make it natural? Thank you.
    March 7, 2013


    Dear Mrs. XXX,


    I am writing to bring you attention to the problem that the telephone in your apartment did not work when I intended to use it after I moved into the house. I hope you can repair it as soon as possible. I am free tomorrow. Please inform me of your repairing in advance.

    Yours sincerely,


    Jane

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    24,942
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: a request

    Quote Originally Posted by ziawj2 View Post
    I wrote a message to my landlord. Could you help me check it to make it natural? Thank you.
    March 7, 2013


    Dear Mrs. XXX,


    I am writing to bring your attention to the problem fact that the telephone in your my apartment did does not work. when I intended to use it after I moved into the house. I hope you can Please repair it as soon as possible. Please let me know when you will be coming to repair it. If it is any help, I am free tomorrow. Please inform me of your repairing in advance.
    ​I look forward to hearing from you.

    Yours sincerely,


    Jane
    You have addressed the letter to Mrs XXXX - some people will say that means you are writing to your "landlady". However, "landlord" is a perfectly acceptable all-encompassing term for someone who owns a property and rents it to someone else.

    Refer to the apartment as "my apartment" - even though Mrs XXX is the owner, you are the one living there and using all the facilities.

    I'm not sure what you meant by "when I intended to use it after I moved into the house". It is clear that you would expect a telephone in your apartment to actually work.

    "Yours sincerely" is overly formal. Given the brevity of the letter, I think "Yours" is sufficient.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 11-Mar-2013 at 17:52. Reason: removed the nonsense I'd written!
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

  3. #3
    5jj's Avatar
    5jj is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Retired English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Czech Republic
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    28,167
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: a request

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post

    "Yours sincerely" is overly formal (and given that the greeting is "Dear Mrs XXX", "yours faithfully" would be the appropriate ending.
    I don't agree. If we are using formal salutations and closures, then it's 'Dear Sir/Madam ..... Yours faithfully' or 'Dear Mr/Ms/Mrs/Miss/Dr Postule / Dear Pate ..... Yours sincerely' in British English.

  4. #4
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    24,942
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: a request

    Quote Originally Posted by 5jj View Post
    I don't agree. If we are using formal salutations and closures, then it's 'Dear Sir/Madam ..... Yours faithfully' or 'Dear Mr/Ms/Mrs/Miss/Dr Postule / Dear Pate ..... Yours sincerely' in British English.
    I have no idea where my brain went on that post. I'm well aware of the rule and frequently remind people that "Sir/Madam" goes with "Yours faithfully" and "Mr/Mrs XXX" goes with "Yours sincerely".
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

  5. #5
    ziawj2 is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    234
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: a request

    My student wrote:
    Because I have to tell my friends that I’m safety arriving.I hope that you can fix the telephone for me.

    I don't think the word 'Because' is needed, and I think the sentence is not natural, so I made some changes. What do you think of the changes?

    I want to tell my friends I settled down safely, so I hope you can have it fixed for me.

  6. #6
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    24,942
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: a request

    Quote Originally Posted by ziawj2 View Post
    My student wrote:
    Because I have to tell my friends that I’m safety arriving.I hope that you can fix the telephone for me.

    I don't think the word 'Because' is needed, and I think the sentence is not natural, so I made some changes. What do you think of the changes?

    I want to tell my friends I settled down safely, so I hope you can have it fixed for me.
    I want to let my friends know that I have settled in OK, so I hope you can get the phone fixed as soon as possible.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

  7. #7
    Rover_KE is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Retired English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • England
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    15,961
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: a request

    I'd butter her up a bit.

    I want to let my friends know that I have settled in OK and have a very obliging landlady, so I hope you can get the phone fixed as soon as possible.

  8. #8
    ziawj2 is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    234
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: a request

    Quote Originally Posted by Rover_KE View Post
    I'd butter her up a bit.

    I want to let my friends know that I have settled in OK and have a very obliging landlady, so I hope you can get the phone fixed as soon as possible.

  9. #9
    konungursvia's Avatar
    konungursvia is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Academic
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Canada
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    4,832
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: a request

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    I have no idea where my brain went on that post. I'm well aware of the rule and frequently remind people that "Sir/Madam" goes with "Yours faithfully" and "Mr/Mrs XXX" goes with "Yours sincerely".
    I don't think that sort of rule matters a whit these days, in any case. ;)

  10. #10
    5jj's Avatar
    5jj is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Retired English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Czech Republic
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    28,167
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: a request

    Quote Originally Posted by konungursvia View Post
    I don't think that sort of rule matters a whit these days, in any case. ;)
    It may still matter in examinations.

Similar Threads

  1. [Grammar] After submitting the request vs After submitted the request
    By firewallengineer in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-Apr-2012, 19:27
  2. At/upon request
    By Allen165 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 30-Aug-2010, 13:32
  3. a request for request :)
    By Lo0o0vLy GirL in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11-May-2010, 12:10
  4. request
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 22-Jun-2008, 23:23
  5. request
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-Jun-2007, 07:47

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •