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  1. #1
    jenniferskene is offline Newbie
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    Default Persuasive business letter

    Could you please review my paper for sentence structure, comma splices, run ons etc.

    56 Sublime Trail
    Canton, GA 30114

    March 11, 2013

    Phil Gingrey
    U.S. House of Representatives
    Washington, DC 20515

    Dear Congressman Gingrey:

    My name is Jennifer Skene. I am a college student and a part time Personal Banker working at SunTrust Bank in Canton, GA. I am writing you to express my support of the Fair Minimum Wage Act of 2013. It is my belief that you should also support this bill. In the following paragraphs, I would like to share with you my views, and the views of my peers.

    It is no surprise that in a society such as ours, people who make more money tend to spend more money. Many of the states in our country have a large percentage of families making less than $20,000.00 annually, and are living below the poverty line. These states have no federal minimum wage. A full time employee, who is earning minimum wage, will make approximately $15,080.00 annually. It is difficult, almost impossible, for these individuals to contribute to our struggling economy. Mandating a federal minimum wage, that is acceptable, helps citizens to keep going until they get their feet on the ground. Whether they are retraining to reach a position that demands a higher wage, or they are working on a degree to better themselves; a higher minimum wage will help these individuals contribute more to our economy in the interim.

    In 2009, the federal minimum wage was raised to $7.25. Taking inflation into consideration, this is the equivalent of $4.97 in 1996; in the year 1996 minimum wage was actually $5.30. When breaking down these numbers, it does not seem that we are staying in balance with the continuing upward trend of inflation in our country. By raising the federal minimum wage, those individuals who are currently making $15,080.00 annually, will have an additional $3,640.00 per year. This may not seem like a lot of money, but to a person earning minimum wage it is 900 gallons of gas, or four mortgage payments. Currently in the United States there are 40 states in which welfare pays more than an $8.00 job. Raising the federal minimum wage will help to reduce the government’s public assistance expenditures. In addition to reducing the federal governments’ expenses, it will also provide income in the form of increased federal income taxes to a country that is very much in debt.

    If we do not take action on this issue, our country will unfortunately continue down the path it is currently heading. I am aware this change alone will not fix our national debt and improve the quality of life for US citizens, but it can only have a positive impact on the current economy. Continuing to support wealthy citizens, in hopes that it will make its way to the majority middle class is not working. Please take my letter into consideration the next time you are discussing the Federal Minimum Wage Act. I urge you to express your support to this very important subject the next time you are given the opportunity. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my letter and consider my views.

    Sincerely,



    Jennifer Skene56 Sublime Trail
    Canton, GA 30114

    March 11, 2013

    Phil Gingrey
    U.S. House of Representatives
    Washington, DC 20515

    Dear Congressman Gingrey:

    My name is Jennifer Skene. I am a college student and a part time Personal Banker working at SunTrust Bank in Canton, GA. I am writing you to express my support of the Fair Minimum Wage Act of 2013. It is my belief that you should also support this bill. In the following paragraphs, I would like to share with you my views, and the views of my peers.

    It is no surprise that in a society such as ours, people who make more money tend to spend more money. Many of the states in our country have a large percentage of families making less than $20,000.00 annually, and are living below the poverty line. These states have no federal minimum wage. A full time employee, who is earning minimum wage, will make approximately $15,080.00 annually. It is difficult, almost impossible, for these individuals to contribute to our struggling economy. Mandating a federal minimum wage, that is acceptable, helps citizens to keep going until they get their feet on the ground. Whether they are retraining to reach a position that demands a higher wage, or they are working on a degree to better themselves; a higher minimum wage will help these individuals contribute more to our economy in the interim.

    In 2009, the federal minimum wage was raised to $7.25. Taking inflation into consideration, this is the equivalent of $4.97 in 1996; in the year 1996 minimum wage was actually $5.30. When breaking down these numbers, it does not seem that we are staying in balance with the continuing upward trend of inflation in our country. By raising the federal minimum wage, those individuals who are currently making $15,080.00 annually, will have an additional $3,640.00 per year. This may not seem like a lot of money, but to a person earning minimum wage it is 900 gallons of gas, or four mortgage payments. Currently in the United States there are 40 states in which welfare pays more than an $8.00 job. Raising the federal minimum wage will help to reduce the government’s public assistance expenditures. In addition to reducing the federal governments’ expenses, it will also provide income in the form of increased federal income taxes to a country that is very much in debt.

    If we do not take action on this issue, our country will unfortunately continue down the path it is currently heading. I am aware this change alone will not fix our national debt and improve the quality of life for US citizens, but it can only have a positive impact on the current economy. Continuing to support wealthy citizens, in hopes that it will make its way to the majority middle class is not working. Please take my letter into consideration the next time you are discussing the Federal Minimum Wage Act. I urge you to express your support to this very important subject the next time you are given the opportunity. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my letter and consider my views.

    Sincerely,



    Jennifer Skene
    Last edited by jenniferskene; 12-Mar-2013 at 02:46. Reason: forgot to paste letter

  2. #2
    probus's Avatar
    probus is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Persuasive business letter

    wrong forum area

  3. #3
    Mr_Ben's Avatar
    Mr_Ben is offline Member
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    Default Re: Persuasive business letter

    First rate letter, good structure and quite persuasive.

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