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  1. #11
    Manish Mirani is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Help for IELTS essay preview

    Dear emsr2d2,
    Thank you for your words.
    I sincerely apologize for using quick English as I had sent that message from my cell phone.
    I will be very grateful if you can help me evaluate the recent essay I posted.
    Regards,
    Manish

  2. #12
    konungursvia's Avatar
    konungursvia is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Help for IELTS essay preview

    I think you are relying too heavily on style, and are light on substance. "The infrastructure of urban cities will not be influenced' by an influx of rural people, according to your conclusion. Urban cities is a pleonasm, redundant. 'Influence' means ''affect,' and no reasonable person would think rapid urbanisation could possibly happen without affecting the infrastructure.

    While I can generally get your meaning, your over-writing makes it hard to give you a high mark.

  3. #13
    Manish Mirani is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Help for IELTS essay preview

    Dear Konungursiva,
    Thank you very much for highlighting my weak points. I will try not to overwrite or overelaborate some points too much.
    Regards,
    Manish

  4. #14
    Mr_Ben's Avatar
    Mr_Ben is offline Member
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    Default Re: Help for IELTS essay preview

    Last edited by Mr_Ben; 25-Mar-2013 at 08:33. Reason: moved reply to different thread

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