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  1. #11
    Mr_Ben's Avatar
    Mr_Ben is offline Member
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    Default Re: Please help to evalaute my IELTS essay.

    Regarding your second essay, it's a big step in the right direction! The sentences are shorter and clearer, which makes your argument easier to follow. Try and stay with this style. The purpose of the task is to explain your point of view clearly and elegantly, not to write the longest sentences possible. I think you're moving in the right direction.

    The question is a little more complicated than it looks though. Which part of the statement do you think is really open to interpretation? Do people really think that planes don't consume fuel? Do they think burning fuel doesn't cause pollution? I think the main part of the statement is "air travel should be prohibited." You give your opinion on this, but your arguments don't really show me how you arrived at this conclusion. We have to weigh up the costs and benefits of every action we take, are there no benefits to air travel? Would there not be any consequences if we banned it? Try and sketch out your answer in an outline before you start writing. This will help you get your argument worked out in your head before you start.

    Esgaleth makes a very good point about reading sample essays. Have you found any? Here are some from IELTS.org. The marking criteria are the same for the Academic and General exam, but the questions are different.

    You can find the General questions here: http://www.ielts.org/test_takers_inf...-_writing.aspx
    You can find some sample answers with feedback here: http://www.ielts.org/pdf/115004_Gene...le_scripts.pdf

    You can find the Academic questions here: http://www.ielts.org/test_takers_inf...ng_sample.aspx
    And you can find some sample answers with feedback here: http://www.ielts.org/PDF/113313_AC_sample_scripts.pdf

  2. #12
    Manish Mirani is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Please help to evalaute my IELTS essay.


    Dear Ben,
    Thank you for your quick response.
    Yes i do agree that that main part of the question is based on the statement whether air traveled should be banned or not.
    I am not sure if my approach is correct or not. However, I have reached to the conclusion to the conclusion by analyzing that it causes pollution and consumes large amounts of fuel.
    I guess I need to read more model essays as I could not think of any other examples.

    Any thoughts?

    Thanks again


  3. #13
    Mr_Ben's Avatar
    Mr_Ben is offline Member
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    Default Re: Please help to evalaute my IELTS essay.

    Just try and imagine your whole answer before you actually write it. Try and find problems or weaknesses in your arguments and adress them before you start worrying about vocabulary and grammar. I recommend making notes in English (it will help you get some vocabulary ideas), but if it's more efficient for you then make your notes in Hindi.

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