Manish Mirani
Member
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2013
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Hindi
- Home Country
- India
- Current Location
- Japan
Dear forum members,
I would really appreciate if you can help to evaluate a score this IELTS essay.I am having my test on 6/04 and would like to improve my weak points.
Thanks again,
Manish
Some people argue that early marriage is part of traditional lifestyles in some countries and should be respected, others say it is damaging to young girls and their future.
Describe the arguments supporting both these positions and give your opinion.
Early marriage is a very relative term and its meaning may differ from one culture to another. Some argue from a cultural viewpoint that early marriage is ingrained in the traditional lifestyle of some countries and should be followed while on the counter side it is believed by some that it harms the psyche and hampers the career prospects of young girls. A conclusion will be drawn after analyzing both sides of this argument.
It is argued by one bracket of people that early marriage is a custom of the traditional lifestyles of the people in the developing part of the world and should be appreciated. For instance, India, a country deeply influenced by religion, race and tradition experience the highest number of early age marriages. According to the Indian culture and tradition it is strongly believed that children should get married early and take the responsibilities of home. As a result, the son is expected to marry early so that he can fulfill financial liabilities of family while his wife can take care of household chores. Since in some countries traditional values are of prime importance, it is argued by some that early marriages should be respected.
On the other hand, some perceive that early age marriages could have detrimental effects on career opportunities and phase transition in woman's life. For example, in India there exists a large percentage of women who are academically unfit for work or are not allowed to work by her husband’s family. This in turn restricts them to move ahead in career and downgrades their self-confidence and intellect. Thus, it is clear that why some argue that the future of young girls is affected by the tradition of early marriage.
In summary, after analyzing early marriages from a traditional and cultural view point and also studying its effect on the woman. In my opinion, personal well being and intellect which are developed from career progression are of prime importance and hence the idea that early marriage are a part of tradition cannot be supported. Living in the 21[SUP]st[/SUP] century and dynamic global economy it is predicted that early marriages will decline and women around the world will experience more freedom and advance on career track.
I would really appreciate if you can help to evaluate a score this IELTS essay.I am having my test on 6/04 and would like to improve my weak points.
Thanks again,
Manish
Some people argue that early marriage is part of traditional lifestyles in some countries and should be respected, others say it is damaging to young girls and their future.
Describe the arguments supporting both these positions and give your opinion.
Early marriage is a very relative term and its meaning may differ from one culture to another. Some argue from a cultural viewpoint that early marriage is ingrained in the traditional lifestyle of some countries and should be followed while on the counter side it is believed by some that it harms the psyche and hampers the career prospects of young girls. A conclusion will be drawn after analyzing both sides of this argument.
It is argued by one bracket of people that early marriage is a custom of the traditional lifestyles of the people in the developing part of the world and should be appreciated. For instance, India, a country deeply influenced by religion, race and tradition experience the highest number of early age marriages. According to the Indian culture and tradition it is strongly believed that children should get married early and take the responsibilities of home. As a result, the son is expected to marry early so that he can fulfill financial liabilities of family while his wife can take care of household chores. Since in some countries traditional values are of prime importance, it is argued by some that early marriages should be respected.
On the other hand, some perceive that early age marriages could have detrimental effects on career opportunities and phase transition in woman's life. For example, in India there exists a large percentage of women who are academically unfit for work or are not allowed to work by her husband’s family. This in turn restricts them to move ahead in career and downgrades their self-confidence and intellect. Thus, it is clear that why some argue that the future of young girls is affected by the tradition of early marriage.
In summary, after analyzing early marriages from a traditional and cultural view point and also studying its effect on the woman. In my opinion, personal well being and intellect which are developed from career progression are of prime importance and hence the idea that early marriage are a part of tradition cannot be supported. Living in the 21[SUP]st[/SUP] century and dynamic global economy it is predicted that early marriages will decline and women around the world will experience more freedom and advance on career track.