Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!
Daisy L. Hung, Director of the Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience at Central University, shared her astonishing experience which she visited an elementary school. In the classroom, she saw a girl pointing at the fruit on the table and saying, “My mom said those small size tangerines were not tasty, so they were for the Filipino caretakers.” Professor Hung was very astonished at the little girl’s remarks. She stripped a small citrus on the spot and shared one half for each with the girl. “You see, it’s sweet and juicy,” Hung said.
The only thing I find slightly odd is saying "She stripped a small citrus". I would have said "She peeled one of the small citrus fruit ...". I've never heard of citrus fruits just being referred to as "citrus".
Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.
The teacher was astonished at the girl's differential treatment to the Filipino caretakers.
I'd be astonished too. "This is crappy food. The wretched people eat it. Not important people like us." That's exactly how I understood it. However, by showing her the fruit actually was good enough to eat, the poor workers probably won't get them any longer.
I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.