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  1. #1
    andrea23694 is offline Newbie
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    Can you correct my IELTS Writing Task 1?

    Here is the prompt (you can save it as an image and then read it):
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    This is the answer:
    The illustration presents the amount of units of electricity produced using fuel sources in Australia and in France in two different years.

    In general, in both countries during this 20-year period the total production has increased. In 1980, the production was very diversified, whereas in 2000 Australia used mainly coal to produce its energy and France employed nuclear power.
    In 1980, the units produced by coal in Australia (50) were twice those in France (25) and the Australian units of electricity produced using hydro power (20) were four times the French ones (5). On the other hand, during the same year, French use of oil source was twice that of Australia. In addition, it is possible to notice that Australia did not use nuclear power neither in 1980 nor in 2000, whereas France used it very much, especially in 2000, when it reached a production of 126 units, which is higher than the total production of energy in Australia in 1980 and which is almost 3/4 of the total production in France. Also, in 2000, Australian use of coal reached the 3/4 of its total production. From 1980 to 2000, Australia also increased its exploitation of hydro power.
    In summary, the production of energy rose in both countries, but France mainly used nuclear power, whereas Australia chiefly used coal.

  2. #2
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    Mr_Ben is offline Member
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    Re: Can you correct my IELTS Writing Task 1?

    Nice work! You have highlighted good information and you use a variety of ways to make comparisons. This is a very solid essay.

    I've highlighted a few errors in red and I've marked a couple places in blue that I will comment on at the bottom of this post.

    Quote Originally Posted by andrea23694 View Post
    Here is the prompt (you can save it as an image and then read it):

    This is the answer:
    The illustration presents the amount of units of electricity produced using fuel sources in Australia and in France in two different years.

    In general, in both countries during this 20-year period the total production has increased. In 1980, the production was very diversified, (1) whereas in 2000 Australia used mainly coal to produce its energy and France employed nuclear power.
    In 1980, the units produced by coal in Australia (50) were twice those in France (25) and the Australian units of electricity produced using hydro power (20) were four times the French ones (5). On the other hand, during the same year, French use of oil source was twice that of Australia. In addition, it is possible to notice that Australia did (2) not use nuclear power neither in 1980 nor in 2000, whereas France used it very much, especially in 2000, when it reached a production of 126 units, which is higher than the total production of energy in Australia in 1980 and which is almost 3/4 of the total production in France. Also, in 2000, Australian use of coal reached the 3/4 of its total production. From 1980 to 2000, Australia also increased its exploitation of hydro power.
    In summary, the production of energy rose in both countries, but France mainly used nuclear power, whereas Australia chiefly used coal.

    1. The vocabulary is good, but the position is not quite right. You could put "whereas" after "energy" in that sentence and it would be correct.
    2. Here's an example of the anglo double negaive phobia. We aren't not afraid of double negatives! You can just leave out "neither" and change "nor" to "or" and the sentence would be fine. You could also leave out "not" and the sentence would be OK but it would feel a bit more formal than the rest of your response (which is written at the correct level).


    When is your exam and what score do you need? If you want more tips about the exam you can check my website: Part 3: Writing | Ben Teaches English Good luck in your preparation!

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