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  1. #1
    hi-tam82 is offline Newbie
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    Question Essay ielts academic essay task I

    The graphs show the spending habits in the UK on books purchased online. The line graph gives date about the money spent on this habit over six years starting from 1997, while pie chart describes the percentage of UK countries involved.

    The most striking point to be noted from the line chart is that money spent on online purchasing of books rose steadily from just over $10000 millions in 1997 to nearly 25000 millions in 2002. The highest increase was between 1997 and 1998 where figures soared from 10000 million to well over 15000 millions. Afterwards, the money consumed on online books increased gradually to reach about 22000 millions in 2000. The next two years showed a slight rise of this money to reach 25000 in the year 2002.

    The pie chart displayed that more than three quarters (80%) of books were bought by people from England. Wales and Scotland represented 10% and 8% respectively. The least spenders were from North Ireland with only 1%.

    Overall, it is clear that while the Internet book shopping increased in the UK, the England citizens were the highest spenders amongst the other UK countries.

  2. #2
    hi-tam82 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Essay ielts academic essay task I

    If you have any correction, please, don't hesitate!
    Thanks

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Essay ielts academic essay task I

    Nice work! Obviously, I can't see the graph, but I think you have done a good job of choosing important features to discuss. You also use a nice variety of ways to describe changes. I've highlighted some things I like in blue and some (not all) mistakes in red.

    Quote Originally Posted by hi-tam82 View Post
    The graphs show the spending habits in the UK on books purchased online. The line graph gives date about the money spent on this habit over six years starting from 1997, while pie chart describes the percentage of UK countries involved.

    The most striking point to be noted from the line chart is that money spent on online purchasing of books rose steadily from just over$10000 millions in 1997 to nearly 25000 millions in 2002. The highest increase was between 1997 and 1998 where figures soared from 10000 million to well over 15000 millions. Afterwards, the money consumed on online books increased gradually to reach about 22000 millions in 2000. The next two years showed a slight rise of this money to reach 25000 in the year 2002.

    The pie chart displayed that more than three quarters (80%) of books were bought by people from England. Wales and Scotland represented 10% and 8% respectively. The (1) least spenders were from Northern Ireland with only 1%.

    Overall, it is clear that while the Internet book shopping increased in the UK, the (2) England citizens were the highest spenders amongst the other UK countries.
    You have a small problem with your numbers and units. First of all, if the survey is about the UK, remember to indicate the correct currency (). Then, when you are writing the numbers you have a different problem. On your task, I think it has some numbers written along the edges of the graph and then it says, "in millions" next to them. This "millions" is not a specific number, it is just the units of measurement. A different chart might say "in kilometers" or "in litres." But when we write (or say) a number, it isn't plural; it's a specific number. In addition, I would try and write one number instead of two: 25000 million = 25 billion. It's not a big problem, I just had to write a lot to explain it.

    I made a couple of notes in your essay:
    1. In your last sentence you talk about the highest spenders, what's the opposite of highest?
    2. I would say "the English" here, but you've got a small problem with your groupings. If they are the highest, can they be among another group? Don't they need to be in the same group?


    Overall it's a good essay (the examiners would treat the numbers as just one error because you are consistent with it), when is your exam and what score do you need? If you want more tips about the exam you can check my website: Part 3: Writing | Ben Teaches English Good luck in your preparation!

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    hi-tam82 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Essay ielts academic essay task I

    Thank you so much Ben!
    Very precious comments. ..I'm sure that it seems better now.

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