cover letter correction

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MARIA DELIOU

Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Greek
Home Country
Greece
Current Location
Greece
hello,
I am from Greece and I am applying for a master program in a university.:roll:

I would really appreciate if you took a look to my cover letter and made the corrections that are needed.


thank you in advance:-D


best regards

m.d
here is my cover letter:
Dear Members of the European Master ofxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxProgram : I am writing to you because of my strong interest in participating in the 2013 xxx Program at the xxxxxxx University. I learned about this international master study program from a colleague and good friend of mine, xxxxxx, who shared her experience with me and this, was one of the reasons that motivated my interest for this program.
As you may already know in (my country) there isn’t any first academic degree regarding xxxxxxx Interpreting. Consequently (name of the program) seems a perfect (if not the only one) opportunity for further education and further professional development.
My 12 years working in(name of the organization) a private school that teaches xxxxx lanuguage, as a secretary at first and then as an interpreter , combined with my cooperation with the Greek Federation helped me to gain a lot of experience regarding the Greek xxxxx Community and made me realize its needs and cravings for more academic interpretation services.
Research skills, further professional development, sharing experiences with colleagues from all over Europe and bringing this new knowledge to the Greek my country’s xxxxx language interpreting field are some of my expectations that I hope to fulfill through this program.
I would really like to study at the xxxxxxxxxxx University of, Germany. However as an alternative I would be really glad and grateful if I was accepted by Humak University of Applied Sciences, Finland(name of another University)
My CV will give a greater understanding of my experience and will for further professional development.
Sincerely
 

billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
hello,
I am from Greece and I am applying for a master program in a university.:roll:

I would really appreciate if you took a look to my cover letter and made the corrections that are needed.


thank you in advance:-D


best regards

m.d
here is my cover letter:

Dear Members of the European Master ofxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxProgram : [STRIKE]I am writing to you because of my[/STRIKE] I have a strong interest in participating in the 2013 xxx Program at the xxxxxxx University. I learned about this international master study program from a colleague and good friend of mine, xxxxxx, (Is it necessary to provide her name?) who shared her experience with me and [STRIKE] this, [/STRIKE] thus was one of the reasons that [STRIKE] motivated [/STRIKE] influenced my interest [STRIKE] for [/STRIKE] in this program.

As you may already know, in (my country) there isn’t any first academic degree regarding xxxxxxx Interpreting. Consequently, (name of the program) seems a perfect [STRIKE] (if not the only one) [/STRIKE] and possibly the only opportunity [STRIKE] for [/STRIKE] to further my education and [STRIKE] further [/STRIKE] professional development.

[STRIKE] My [/STRIKE] I have worked 12 years [STRIKE]working[/STRIKE] in(name of the organization) a private school that teaches xxxxx lanuguage, as a secretary at first and then as an interpreter. That experience combined with my cooperation with the Greek Federation helped me [STRIKE] to [/STRIKE] gain [STRIKE] a lot [/STRIKE][STRIKE] of [/STRIKE] extensive experience regarding the Greek xxxxx Community and made me realize [STRIKE] its [/STRIKE] the needs [STRIKE] and cravings [/STRIKE] for more academic interpretation services.

Research skills, further professional development, sharing experiences with colleagues from all over Europe and bringing this new knowledge to [STRIKE] the Greek [/STRIKE] my country’s xxxxx language interpreting field are some of my expectations that I hope to fulfill through this program.

I would really like to study at the xxxxxxxxxxx University of, Germany. However as an alternative I would be [STRIKE] really glad and [/STRIKE] grateful if I [STRIKE] was [/STRIKE] would be accepted by Humak University of Applied Sciences, Finland (name of another University)
My CV will give [STRIKE] a greater understanding [/STRIKE] an expanded description of my experience and [STRIKE] will [/STRIKE] objectives for further professional development.
Sincerely
Suggestions. Good luck.
 

MARIA DELIOU

Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Greek
Home Country
Greece
Current Location
Greece
thank you soooo much!!!:-D
 
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