I made a story

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Prito

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Apr 9, 2013
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I made a story.

I woke up 7am. Then i went to the restroom .Then I had brush and took shower.
About 8am i had my breakfast.I read the newspaper while taking breakfast.
After that I went to school. My school time was 9am. I was little late in to school. Lunch break was around 1pm.Around 4pm my school was over.Then I came home. Then I had to cook my dinner.But I am so tired today.Thats why I ordered cheese pizza. After that I turned on the tv. And watched movie as eating pizza. Then I slept around 10pm.

Please tell me my mistakes. I am very thankful to you.
 

billmcd

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Mar 27, 2009
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English Teacher
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I made a story.

I woke up at 7am. Then I went to the [STRIKE] restroom [/STRIKE] bathroom ("restroom" would be considered a public facility) .Then I [STRIKE] had brush [/STRIKE] (? Do you mean "brushed my teeth/hair?) and took a shower.
About 8am I had my breakfast and I read the newspaper while taking breakfast.
After that I went to school. My school time was 9am. I was a little late [STRIKE] in [/STRIKE] to school. Lunch break was around 1pm. Around 4pm my school was over.Then I came home. Then I had to cook my dinner. But I am so tired today.That's why I ordered a cheese pizza. After that I turned on the TV. And watched a movie [STRIKE] as [/STRIKE] while eating pizza. Then I [STRIKE]slept[/STRIKE] retired (or "went to bed") around 10pm.

Please tell me my mistakes. I am very thankful to you.

b.
 

Prito

Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Hindi
Home Country
India
Current Location
United States
Thanks once again.
Your advice is very helpful.
 
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