I have some bad news for you. There are so many errors in this, I can't even begin. Some of it looks as if it has been done by an online translator and some just has spelling errors which I find very odd.
Did you check things like "hesatage" or "bay-bay" in a dictionary?
Read your piece again, very carefully, one word at a time. Check everything, then try again. I have marked above in red every error in spelling, punctuation, capitalisation or grammar.