[Essay] don't call me

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Ashiuhto

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Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!

At the beginning, I would like to introduce
myself. My name is Patricia, but don’t call me “Patrick”. I am much smarter and cuter than Patrick. Although my family will move to Hsinchu after I graduate from junior high school, I hope we can still keep in touch in the future.
 

billmcd

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Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!

[STRIKE] At the beginning [/STRIKE]
First, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Patricia, but don’t call me “Patrick”. I am much smarter and cuter than Patrick. Although my family will move to Hsinchu after I graduate from junior high school, I hope we can still keep in touch in the future.

One minor suggestion.
 

shur2gal

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Allow me to introduce myself. The transition "First" is overused in English and should be avoided whenever possible.
 

5jj

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The transition "First" is overused in English and should be avoided whenever possible.
As I have said elsewhere, many learners are taught to use these words as one way of structuring an essay. They are commonly used by native speakers.
 
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emsr2d2

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Unless I am missing an intended witticism, I'd like to point out that no-one calls people called Patricia by the name Patrick. Patricia is a girl's name. Patrick is a boy's name. They can both be shortened to Pat, but they are definitely not interchangeable.
 
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