[General] Can someone critique this for me?

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kmodi

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Apr 24, 2013
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Ok, I am writing a poem for my honors english class. my teacher told me i need to play with the words/change the words on line 2 and 4. and i need to add dashes (-)/ split up the lines.. can someone help me?? Well, here is my poem.


i dont have a title so...
TITLE

keep your head up
even when you're down
even when you feel like,
your world is upside down

I know you are hurting
because I feel your pain
but this is what makes us,
All the same

Don't take your life,
or self harm
because someone out there,
is in Love with Your charm

No one's out to get you
no one's in your way
but remember
we are all
sort of the Same


please help!
 

5jj

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Welcome to the forum, kmodi. We like to help when we can, but we don't help with homework assignments. Your teacher wants to know what you can do, not what we can do.
 

Rover_KE

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Additionally, kmodi, work of this nature should be posted in the Editing & Writing Topics forum, to which I am moving it now.

Rover
 
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