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    #1

    Pronoun, Tense usage in sample text

    Hi,

    I have posted two sets of sample texts containing minute changes of tense and pronoun. Which one is grammatically correct? Please guide.

    (1)
    look how the colors of life cascade on your heavenly union
    embellish those cherished moments, which the Ranbow's sage
    craftsmanship has imprinted and bounded together in memories
    with everlasting folds of love


    (2)
    look how the colors of life cascaded on your heavenly union
    and embellished those cherished moments, while Rainbow's sage
    craftsmanship imprinted and bounded together those memories in
    everlasting folds of love


    p.s: Rainbow is the name of a business.

  1. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Pronoun, Tense usage in sample text

    Quote Originally Posted by ghostrider0044 View Post
    Hi,

    I have posted two sets of sample texts containing minute changes of tense and pronoun. Which one is grammatically correct? Please guide.

    (1)
    look how the colors of life cascade on your heavenly union
    embellish those cherished moments, which the Ranbow's sage
    craftsmanship has imprinted and bounded together in memories
    with everlasting folds of love


    (2)
    look how the colors of life cascaded on your heavenly union
    and embellished those cherished moments, while Rainbow's sage
    craftsmanship imprinted and bounded together those memories in
    everlasting folds of love


    p.s: Rainbow is the name of a business.
    None of it makes sense.

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    #3

    Exclamation Re: Pronoun, Tense usage in sample text

    Quote Originally Posted by bhaisahab View Post
    None of it makes sense.
    I am sorry for i forgot to mention the purpose of the text.
    This text would be printed on a card affixed to a gift pack containing edited video of the marriage ceremony along with bride/groom album.

    Please think of the sample text in this context and guide.

    Awaiting your response

  2. 5jj's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Pronoun, Tense usage in sample text

    I doubt if many of us in this forum are capable of producing the flowery language that might be acceptable, or even desirable, in your culture. Sorry.

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    #5

    Re: Pronoun, Tense usage in sample text

    Quote Originally Posted by ghostrider0044 View Post

    Which one is grammatically correct?
    How can they be grammatically correct without any punctuation and only the name of the business capitalised?

    Rover

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Pronoun, Tense usage in sample text

    And in the first sample text, you have even spelt the name of the company incorrectly. Revise your texts, adding capitalisation and punctuation first. However, I agree with 5jj that the style (the overly flowery language) sounds very unnatural to native speakers.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

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    #7

    Re: Pronoun, Tense usage in sample text

    Quote Originally Posted by Rover_KE View Post
    How can they be grammatically correct without any punctuation and only the name of the business capitalised?

    Rover
    I have capitalized the first letter and added punctuation to the best of my limited knowledge. Please guide.

    (1)
    Look, how the colors of life cascade on your heavenly union and
    embellish those cherished moments, which the Rainbow's sage
    craftsmanship has imprinted and bounded together in memories
    with everlasting folds of love.


    (2)
    Look, how the colors of life cascaded on your heavenly union
    and embellished those cherished moments, which Rainbow's sage
    craftsmanship has imprinted and bounded together in
    everlasting folds of love.

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    #8

    Re: Pronoun, Tense usage in sample text

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    And in the first sample text, you have even spelt the name of the company incorrectly. Revise your texts, adding capitalisation and punctuation first.
    Yes, I overlooked that spelling. I've added punctuation and capitalization, Please guide.


    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    I agree with 5jj that the style (the overly flowery language) sounds very unnatural to native speakers.
    Marriages around the globe take different forms before the varied ceremonies boil down to the union of man and woman and in some cases w 4 w, m 4 m. So, a lot of it may be unnatural to some. The sample text, which I brought up before this forum and its learned members, would go on a card wishing the newly wed couple.

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    #9

    Re: Pronoun, Tense usage in sample text

    Quote Originally Posted by 5jj View Post
    I doubt if many of us in this forum are capable of producing the flowery language that might be acceptable, or even desirable, in your culture. Sorry.
    The flowery language is totally acceptable in my culture. Thank you for taking time out and reviewing my post.

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