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  1. #1
    Ashiuhto is offline Senior Member
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    Default thinking of becoming

    Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!

    My favorite subject is science because everything around us involves science. By learning science, I learn to think independently and conduct research, I learn all about the world that we live in, and science helps me to become better informed. For example, if we learn science, we won't fall for all those scams, cons, hoaxes, and quack medicines! Therefore, the study of science is essential. Science is fun and exciting. Iím thinking of becoming a scientist in the future. I want to uncover the mysteries of nature, perform experiments or carry out calculations to learn how the world works.

  2. #2
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    Route21 is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: thinking of becoming

    As an NES but not a teacher, the first thing I would do would be to break it up into a beginning, a mid section and an ending.

    ● First paragraph = first sentence.
    ● Third paragraph from "Therefore" onwards

    Regards
    R21

  3. #3
    Ashiuhto is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: thinking of becoming

    Is the sentence structure grammatically correct as written?

    By learning science, I learn to think independently and conduct research, I learn all about the world that we live in, and science helps me to become better informed.

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