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    #1

    Descriptive words to describe a 'relentless/reckless' attack

    Hey guys,

    I'm working on some writing in my spare time. I was wondering if anybody could tell me whether this sounds redundant, or whether it could be more descriptive?


    And with the blinding light, came the sudden, merciless sound of his shrieking horn. Just as I thought this driver’s intimidation couldn’t get any worse, I felt a sudden lurch, and then a swaying as he began to recklessly and ruthlessly ram my car.
    Possible change to make it 'flow' a little better. (In my opinion)

    And with the blinding light, came the sudden, merciless sound of his shrieking horn. Just as I thought the driver’s intimidation couldn’t get any worse, I felt a sudden lurch, and then a swaying as he began recklessly and ruthlessly ramming my car.

    Would you agree that intimidation is the right word for this scenario?

    I'm slightly concerned that 'recklessly' and 'ruthlessly' have a close enough definition to be redundant.

    Do those words go hand in hand?

    Do you need to be ruthless to be reckless? or vice versa?

    Also, do writers feel that using cliches is over the top for story writing? I mean, in some cases, a cliche fits better than anything else.




    I'd appreciate any help.


    Cheers
    Last edited by HanibalII; 07-May-2013 at 02:40.
    I'm not a teacher yet, but I am studying a Bachelor of Education with an English Literature major at Charles Sturt University, in NSW, Australia.

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    #2

    Re: Descriptive words to describe a 'relentless/reckless' attack

    Do those words go hand in hand?
    It's not a strong collocation, but they could work together

    Do you need to be ruthless to be reckless? or vice versa?
    No and no

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    #3

    Re: Descriptive words to describe a 'relentless/reckless' attack

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    It's not a strong collocation, but they could work together


    No and no

    Do you think the structure of the sentence could be changed?

    I'm trying to make it as descriptive as possible without ruining the flow (pace) of the story.
    I'm not a teacher yet, but I am studying a Bachelor of Education with an English Literature major at Charles Sturt University, in NSW, Australia.

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    #4

    Re: Descriptive words to describe a 'relentless/reckless' attack

    If he "began ramming your car" it says he did it over and over again. I'm sure you'd feel more than a lurch and swaying.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #5

    Re: Descriptive words to describe a 'relentless/reckless' attack

    Quote Originally Posted by Barb_D View Post
    If he "began ramming your car" it says he did it over and over again. I'm sure you'd feel more than a lurch and swaying.

    I see your point. I'll have to re-think that section.
    I'm not a teacher yet, but I am studying a Bachelor of Education with an English Literature major at Charles Sturt University, in NSW, Australia.

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