[Grammar] PLEASE just help me correct grammar in my motivation letter

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amstivan

Member
Joined
Apr 29, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Slovak
Home Country
Slovak Republic
Current Location
Slovak Republic
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am hereby applying for entrance for the Bachelor's in Economic and Business at the Universiteit van Amsterdam in September 2013.

The subject of Economics fascinates me. It is interconnected with most social sciences and is the reason behind most our decisions. I wish to educate myself on its complexity and learn the useful tools on how to benefit from my knowledge on this subject. BSc in Economics and Business is the perfect program for me. After having completed BSC, I would like to extend my studies focusing on finance and UvA offers master program just for that.

During my secondary education I participated in many exchange programs to England and Scotland. I realized that living in another country made me more mature, acquire new skills and clarify my life goals. As I visited United Kingdom before, I chose USA as the country to spend a year in as an exchange student. Studying in USA offered many new experiences. I was the most interested in choosing subjects I preferred and picking classes with higher difficulty. One among many highlights in the US was the participation at the DECA state championships; a competition for all business and marketing students in the whole state. I was fascinated about how businesses operated, how marketing worked and how everybody could be unconsciously influenced. I also participated few school debates over subjects like same sex marriage and gun control. Researching and debating these and similar issues influenced me in choosing Netherlands as the country in which I would like to live and study.

A very obvious reason why the UvA is an attractive university is its internationality. Amsterdam is very international making UvA the perfect place to start an international business career. The university has a high percentage of international students. I would love to be among international students, because it is a great possibility to broaden my horizons and get in touch with people on international scale. This I see as a clear advantage in pursuing career in business and economics. Another good reason for me to join the UvA is its high standard of education. UvA is highly ranked and this attracts top professors. In addition, the wide range of top partner universities and student networks offer more possibilities to better education.

All this distinguishes UvA from other universities and is making my choice clear on at what university I want to study. Thank you for considering my application. I would be very pleased to be granted admission for the fall term.
 

EnglishFix

Member
Joined
May 21, 2013
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
Chile
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am hereby applying for entrance for the Bachelor's in Economics and Business at the Universiteit van Amsterdam in September 2013.

The subject of economics fascinates me. It is interconnected with most social sciences and is the reason behind most our decisions. I wish to educate myself on its complexity and learn the useful tools on how to benefit from my knowledge on this subject. The BSc in Economics and Business is the perfect program for me. After having completed BSC, I would like to extend my studies focusing on finance and UvA offers master's program just for that.

During my secondary education I participated in many exchange programs to England and Scotland. I realized that living in another country allowed me to be more mature, acquire new skills, and clarify my life goals. As I have visited United Kingdom before, I chose the USA as the country to spend a year in as an exchange student. Studying in the USA offered many new experiences. I was most interested in choosing subjects that I preferred and choosing classes that were more difficult.

Among many highlights in the USA was my participation in the DECA state championships which is a competition for all business and marketing students in the whole state. I was fascinated about how businesses operated, how marketing worked, and how everybody could be unconsciously influenced. I also participated in a few school debates about subjects such as same sex marriage and gun control. Researching and debating these and similar issues influenced me in choosing the Netherlands as the country in which I would like to live and study.

A very obvious reason why the UvA is an attractive university is its internationality. Amsterdam is very cosmopolitan country making UvA the perfect place to start an international business career. The university has a high percentage of international students. I would love to be among international students because it is a great opportunity to broaden my horizons and get in touch with people on an international scale. This I see as a clear advantage in pursuing a career in business and economics. Another good reason for me to join the UvA is its high standard of education. UvA is highly ranked and this attracts top professors. In addition, the wide range of top partner universities and student networks offer more possibilities for a better education.

All this distinguishes UvA from other universities and is making my choice clear about at which university I want to study. Thank you for considering my application. I would be very pleased to be granted admission for the fall term.
 
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