motivational letter for uni (architec)

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Dinda Djodi

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Joined
May 7, 2013
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Student or Learner
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Indonesian
Home Country
Indonesia
Current Location
Indonesia
hey, im dinda from indonesia, im going tot enter UNi this 2013 and one of the requirements is that i have to make a motivational letter. i've done mine. could you correct mine please ? thanks :)


Dinda Pramita Djodi Putri
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May, 7, 2013

Dear Madam or Sir
I appreciate this opportunity to provide further background information in support of my application for entrance to the foundation program of Architecture at the XXX University for the 2013 term. I want to gain deeper understanding of the properties and uses of materials, manufacturing processes, building structure, and the sequence of building operations.

In high school I graduated with Science as my major. My knowledge of Science I gained for 3 years is very abundant. The impact of this knowledge spurs me to learn and discover more organisms. My academic performance has been always good. Due to my passion and ambition I became top 5 students in every semester. My experiences outside of academics have prepared me to be able to work with diverse populations. I have been a member of Teens Scientific Research in my school. During my activity in this organization, I learned how to be more creative and imaginative by making scientific thing out of scarps. Furthermore, this organization thought me to try new things. Moreover, I learned to work as team and cooperate with each other. In addition, I became more connected with the Science world. I also a member of Student Company and JA Job Shadow in Indonesia. Here, I strengthened my sense of patience and understanding for other students. By donating my time as a part of the student organization, I am capable to understand how emotions, especially enthusiasm, can motivate others. Through my activity from this, I gained much about different cultures in Indonesia. Furthermore, I helped people to overcome their insecurities by exchanging experiences and inspirations and sharing my first impressions.

[h=3]Over time, I have assumed the roles of a team member, a team leader and most recently of that school peer. In retrospect, I feel that the engagement with the student of Drum band during my high school not only groomed me as a team player but greatly improved my interpersonal skills. I also join the extracurricular activity in drawing. Through my daily drawing, I came to recognize that my knowledge and skill of drawing according to a set of conventions is very limited. I want to learn more about the topics so that I can continue with my education in architecture and become a professional architect.[/h]
[h=3]I would very much like to spend studying at the XXX University. This would give me a chance to deepen my architecture knowledge in the inspiring, creative and cosmopolite environment of one of the largest Australia University. Moreover, I am confident that my experience in Australia would be extremely exciting, fun and valuable for both my studies and overall general development.[/h]
[h=3]Given my past history of commitment to excellence, I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your program. I am sure to exceed your expectations, because of both my academic and interpersonal skills as well as the experience gained from my internship. I will enrich the program by enabling fellow students and professors to benefit from my ambitious and open nature. Furthermore, my international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to your program.[/h][h=3]Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.[/h][h=3]Sincerely,[/h][h=3]Dinda Pramita Djodi Putri[/h]
 

EnglishFix

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Joined
May 21, 2013
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
Chile
Dear Sir or Madam,

I appreciate this opportunity to provide further background information in support of my application for entrance to the foundation program of Architecture at XXX University for the 2013 term. I want to gain a deeper understanding of the properties and uses of materials, manufacturing processes, building structures, and the sequence of building operations.

In high school, I graduated with Science as my major. My knowledge of Science I gained for three years is very abundant. The impact of this knowledge spurs me to learn and discover more knowledge. My academic performance has been always good. Due to my passion and ambition, I became a top 5 student in every semester. My experiences outside of academics have prepared me to be able to work with diverse populations. I have been a member of Teens Scientific Research in my school. During my activity in this organization, I learned how to be more creative and imaginative by making scientific things out of scraps.

Furthermore, this organization thought me to try new things. I learned to work as team and cooperate with others. In addition, I became more connected with the world of science. I also a member of Student Company and JA Job Shadow in Indonesia. Here, I strengthened my sense of patience and understanding for other students. By donating my time as a part of the student organization, I am able to understand how emotions, especially enthusiasm, can motivate others. Through my activity in this, I gained much knowledge about different cultures in Indonesia. Furthermore, I helped people to overcome their insecurities by exchanging experiences and inspiration and by sharing my first impressions.

Over time, I have assumed the roles of a team member, a team leader and most recently that of a school peer. In retrospect, I feel that the engagement with the students of the drum band during high school not only groomed me as a team player but greatly improved my interpersonal skills. I also joined the extracurricular activities in drawing. Through my daily drawing, I came to recognize that my knowledge and skill of drawing, according to a set of conventions is very limited. I want to learn more about these topics so that I can continue with my education in architecture and become a professional architect.

I would very much like to study at the XXX University. This would give me a chance to deepen my architecture knowledge in the inspiring, creative and cosmopolite environment of one of the largest Australian universities. Moreover, I am confident that my experience in Australia will be extremely exciting, fun and valuable for both my studies and overall general development.

Given my past history of commitment to excellence, I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your program. I am sure to exceed your expectations because of both my academic and interpersonal skills as well as the experience gained from my internship. I will enrich the program by enabling fellow students and professors to benefit from my ambitious and open nature. Furthermore, my international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to your program.

Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to your acceptance.

Sincerely,

Dinda Pramita Djodi Putri
 
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